Tuesday, December 1, 2009


Got back from Mexico.
Oh, I took a stripping class! I hope those pics don't end up on the internet...
Who am I kidding...
I have 34As...nothing to see here folks.
Got sick AFTER we got home...part flu/part alcohol withdrawal in my humble opinion.
Billed 40k (clearly a sign I should be asking them for more vacation time, all my deals tend to close when I'm not around).
Went to work.

Going to dinner with the husband.
Going to bed.

And I'm deliciously tan!

Friday, September 11, 2009



Wednesday, September 9, 2009

I really miss my husband.

I am friends with an amazing web designer/graphic artist...UPDATE: HE IS A graphic designer, print & identity. Portrait illustrator too:

he is making avatars for a bunch of people on twitter to be like, "Snatch"ish...if you've never seen Snatch, kindly go away, because I would prefer your non-Snatchyness read some thing else.

i jest. you can stay. but you must watch Snatch within the next 72 hours. you've seen The Ring right?? nothing like that will happen. only lack of hilarity in your life. and that is almost as bad as smushed face in the closet.

Friday, September 4, 2009


i'm almost done for the week and i get to take my pasty, flabby ass to the beach for the first time all summy...

little overview of my life, Friday, 9.4.2009:
i recruit in the medical device sales industry, which means, if you break a bone and need a metal rod in your leg (i'm looking at you, governor fuckhead), or have a heart attack and need a stent in your vein...there is a sales rep that has sold the idea of using their product to a physcian, thusly said product ending up in your body. super. i get paid when i find a sales rep my clients want to hire to sell said product.
one of my clients is a *major* orthopedic implant company...their sales force consists of a huge network of independent distributors. this means, that they have an executive level of management that works directly for the company and they basically outsource (lacking a better word) their field sales force. so these can be anything from one dude, carrying around a bag, covering a few counties in jersey, to one dude, with 30 reps under him, selling throughout the entire northeast. either way, these guys pay all of their own expenses (persuading a doc to use your product does, in fact, take time and entertaining which costs a tremendous amount of money because especially in orthopedics, you not only have to get the surgeon on your side, you have to wine and dine his office staff. not be sexist, most ortho surgeons are men), their gas bill, their own car, their health insurance, their cell phones...the list goes on and on. so you get the idea - some of the larger distributors (read: dude with 30 guys under him) will provide a small base salary, some expenses, some health benefits, but for the most part, they all are 100% commission and get 8-10-12% of everything they sell (my client will pay them this for getting their product out there, but nothing else).

side note: this may be why the medical device industry is SO much stronger than the pharma industry - they don't pay for their reps to take a pee and for every snack they want.

one of these client's distributors decided he wanted us to work on a position...our client was going to do this distributor a favor, and pay 5k of the 10k fee we command to make life a bit easier for him and take the leg work out of finding a qualified person in the boonies of a midwestern state.

another side note: of course i fucking found the ONE person who would want this job. all arrogance aside...i do work my ass off at this job so was really proud of myself to make such a great first
impression on this new person (he is one of those distributors that has several reps throughout several midwestern states - read: POTENTIAL FOR REPEAT BUSINESS JESUS EFFING CHRIST, because reps come and go). and the distributor was so happy with me - nice email saying "I'm so impressed with the level of service provided, yadda yadda yadda."

this distributor's bill was not due until 9.17.2009.
our office manager has been harrassing him for payment since the middle of August. like a few days after we placed the sales rep. payment is not due until 30 days after the start date (we guarantee sales reps for 30 days...which means, if they quit, get fired, ANY reason they don't complete 30 days of employment with our client, we will a. refund the money or b. replace the sales rep at no cost.). why would be bother this guy if the bill isn't even due????
so now the distrbutir is pissed as hell at us and never wants to do business with us...and will probably call his fellow distributors and say "hey, fuck this recruiting firm...they are harrassing me nonstop for money."
i mean. WHAT THE FUCK? i am the only person billing/collecting money in this office presently. please, for the love of God. don't mess up what i have worked really hard to build because YOU decide to be greedy.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009


have you ever thought you were friends with someone, spent a lot of time making them feel important, only to have the embarrass you and make you feel like an idiot?

Friday, August 21, 2009

An Open Letter to Dr. Seuss:

Write more books for me, please.

Keep bangin'

Monday, August 17, 2009

why i need a new job:

- we still have DSL. seriously. this is not a joke.
- we don't have maternity leave. i don't care about being 100% commission (yes it's stressful, but the risk/reward tends to be worth it). however, i can't imagine being pregnant and not constantly stressing about how we're going to pay our bills while i am recovering. at a time when if we got pregnant it should be an amazing event, any time i have a scare, i go into full blown panic mode. not good.
- it's the "same shit, different day" deal. i come in, deal with nasty emails from candidates and clients alike, pitch jobs, find candidates, either 1. set them up on interviews and go through the process or 2. the manager never calls me back.
- i'm lacking in a future. some people may be okay with being a recruiter for 10, even 5 years...but i am literally AT THE CEILING. this is IT. i'm 25.
- regarding the above bullet, i'm super incredibly bored. no training, no travel, no new projects, no opportunity to get an advanced degree...no new challenges.
- my work/life balance is suffering...i leave at 7:15 - 7:30 a.m., don't get home until at least 6:30 p.m. when i do trudge through the door, i'm exhausted, really don't want to talk (bc i talk all effing day), and still...hmm...filled with anxiety?
- ah yes. anxiety it is. i'm always on edge. this goes back to the 100% commission thing and cannot be avoided which is fine...but i don't know if someone can operate under this level of stress for an extended period of time.
- the only people who can do this for an extended amount of time either have husbands with a hefty base salary or are single. or have rich parents.
- i don't always get paid for my effort. i can work my ass off on a position and literally NOTHING comes of it. no one cares. but i sure as hell have to hit my quota.
- i know you're thinking i'll have assholes/issues whereever i go, and you are correct, but at least i'll still be getting a paycheck. if i work really unbelievably hard and still only bill 145k, you better believe i have to write a 5k check to my company.