Too Sweet to be Sour, Too Nice to be Mean.

OH MY GOD I'M BLOGGING

2009-12-01T16:47:00.002-05:00

WOWOWOWOWOWOWWOWOWOW
Got back from Mexico.
Oh, I took a stripping class! I hope those pics don't end up on the internet...
Who am I kidding...
I have 34As...nothing to see here folks.
Got sick AFTER we got home...part flu/part alcohol withdrawal in my humble opinion.
Billed 40k (clearly a sign I should be asking them for more vacation time, all my deals tend to close when I'm not around).
Went to work.

Going to dinner with the husband.
Going to bed.
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!

And I'm deliciously tan!

FINISHED PRODUCT.

2009-09-11T09:16:00.001-04:00

AND EFFING AMAZING.

I really miss my husband.

2009-09-09T16:26:00.003-04:00

anyway...
I am friends with an amazing web designer/graphic artist...UPDATE: HE IS A graphic designer, print & identity. Portrait illustrator too:
http://www.olliejdesign.com/

he is making avatars for a bunch of people on twitter to be like, "Snatch"ish...if you've never seen Snatch, kindly go away, because I would prefer your non-Snatchyness read some thing else.

i jest. you can stay. but you must watch Snatch within the next 72 hours. you've seen The Ring right?? nothing like that will happen. only lack of hilarity in your life. and that is almost as bad as smushed face in the closet.

HEY

2009-09-04T13:40:00.002-04:00

i'm almost done for the week and i get to take my pasty, flabby ass to the beach for the first time all summy...

so.
little overview of my life, Friday, 9.4.2009:
i recruit in the medical device sales industry, which means, if you break a bone and need a metal rod in your leg (i'm looking at you, governor fuckhead), or have a heart attack and need a stent in your vein...there is a sales rep that has sold the idea of using their product to a physcian, thusly said product ending up in your body. super. i get paid when i find a sales rep my clients want to hire to sell said product.
one of my clients is a *major* orthopedic implant company...their sales force consists of a huge network of independent distributors. this means, that they have an executive level of management that works directly for the company and they basically outsource (lacking a better word) their field sales force. so these can be anything from one dude, carrying around a bag, covering a few counties in jersey, to one dude, with 30 reps under him, selling throughout the entire northeast. either way, these guys pay all of their own expenses (persuading a doc to use your product does, in fact, take time and entertaining which costs a tremendous amount of money because especially in orthopedics, you not only have to get the surgeon on your side, you have to wine and dine his office staff. not be sexist, most ortho surgeons are men), their gas bill, their own car, their health insurance, their cell phones...the list goes on and on. so you get the idea - some of the larger distributors (read: dude with 30 guys under him) will provide a small base salary, some expenses, some health benefits, but for the most part, they all are 100% commission and get 8-10-12% of everything they sell (my client will pay them this for getting their product out there, but nothing else).

side note: this may be why the medical device industry is SO much stronger than the pharma industry - they don't pay for their reps to take a pee and for every snack they want.

one of these client's distributors decided he wanted us to work on a position...our client was going to do this distributor a favor, and pay 5k of the 10k fee we command to make life a bit easier for him and take the leg work out of finding a qualified person in the boonies of a midwestern state.

another side note: of course i fucking found the ONE person who would want this job. all arrogance aside...i do work my ass off at this job so was really proud of myself to make such a great first
impression on this new person (he is one of those distributors that has several reps throughout several midwestern states - read: POTENTIAL FOR REPEAT BUSINESS JESUS EFFING CHRIST, because reps come and go). and the distributor was so happy with me - nice email saying "I'm so impressed with the level of service provided, yadda yadda yadda."

this distributor's bill was not due until 9.17.2009.
our office manager has been harrassing him for payment since the middle of August. like a few days after we placed the sales rep. payment is not due until 30 days after the start date (we guarantee sales reps for 30 days...which means, if they quit, get fired, ANY reason they don't complete 30 days of employment with our client, we will a. refund the money or b. replace the sales rep at no cost.). why would be bother this guy if the bill isn't even due????
so now the distrbutir is pissed as hell at us and never wants to do business with us...and will probably call his fellow distributors and say "hey, fuck this recruiting firm...they are harrassing me nonstop for money."
i mean. WHAT THE FUCK? i am the only person billing/collecting money in this office presently. please, for the love of God. don't mess up what i have worked really hard to build because YOU decide to be greedy.

wow...

2009-09-02T16:45:00.003-04:00

have you ever thought you were friends with someone, spent a lot of time making them feel important, only to have the embarrass you and make you feel like an idiot?

An Open Letter to Dr. Seuss:

2009-08-21T16:16:00.002-04:00

Write more books for me, please.

Keep bangin'
Meg

why i need a new job:

2009-08-17T13:50:00.002-04:00

- we still have DSL. seriously. this is not a joke.
- we don't have maternity leave. i don't care about being 100% commission (yes it's stressful, but the risk/reward tends to be worth it). however, i can't imagine being pregnant and not constantly stressing about how we're going to pay our bills while i am recovering. at a time when if we got pregnant it should be an amazing event, any time i have a scare, i go into full blown panic mode. not good.
- it's the "same shit, different day" deal. i come in, deal with nasty emails from candidates and clients alike, pitch jobs, find candidates, either 1. set them up on interviews and go through the process or 2. the manager never calls me back.
- i'm lacking in a future. some people may be okay with being a recruiter for 10, even 5 years...but i am literally AT THE CEILING. this is IT. i'm 25.
- regarding the above bullet, i'm super incredibly bored. no training, no travel, no new projects, no opportunity to get an advanced degree...no new challenges.
- my work/life balance is suffering...i leave at 7:15 - 7:30 a.m., don't get home until at least 6:30 p.m. when i do trudge through the door, i'm exhausted, really don't want to talk (bc i talk all effing day), and still...hmm...filled with anxiety?
- ah yes. anxiety it is. i'm always on edge. this goes back to the 100% commission thing and cannot be avoided which is fine...but i don't know if someone can operate under this level of stress for an extended period of time.
- the only people who can do this for an extended amount of time either have husbands with a hefty base salary or are single. or have rich parents.
- i don't always get paid for my effort. i can work my ass off on a position and literally NOTHING comes of it. no one cares. but i sure as hell have to hit my quota.
- i know you're thinking i'll have assholes/issues whereever i go, and you are correct, but at least i'll still be getting a paycheck. if i work really unbelievably hard and still only bill 145k, you better believe i have to write a 5k check to my company.

Blogging Binges & Twitter

2009-08-13T15:52:00.002-04:00

I cannot believe it has been over a month since I have blogged. I have since discovered twitter, which I think may be a way for me to just have a continuous flow of consciousness as opposed to keeping it all inside and then throwing up in my blog.
But, there are just some things that you cannot say when limited to 140 characters. Like the following:
I am experiencing the third (3rd) divorce in the past nine years. The first one was in 1999/2000 - it was my parents, after 18 (ish, maybe 19?) years of marriage. Ho hum. Terrible depression. Hate my life. I now have terrible anger issues and had an attitude problem for a very looooooooooooooong time. Then my senior year in high school, my father remarried. A year and a half later...a terrible thing happened and poof, another divorce. This time just super hella mad. Enter 2006...my mother marries a dude, moves away, and is now getting divorced, for another terrible thing happened.
So here's the thing: I love my husband. Desperately. (Insanely, some may say). I couldn't imagine life without him. When he went down to NC to "watch over" my mom during the very beginning of the divorce last week, I was heartbroken. I couldn't eat. I couldn't sleep. I cried every time I thought of him. November 11th will be out 11th year of being together; November 18th will be our 3rd wedding anniversary. I cherish every moment we have together; whatever problem there is, we stare each other down, we scream, we cry, we carry on until the issue is resolved. Our rule has never, ever go to bed angry with each other. And believe me, we've fought far into the early morning hours.
I'm concerned.
I'm concerned that someday I will be too tired, too numb, to disinterested to fight anymore. We often jokingly say our relationship is a "passionate" one - I know I mean it...we fight, love, fuck each other passionately. I wouldn't have it any other way.
When does it happen to people? When do they decide that what they have isn't worth it anymore? I'm not in a perfect relationship because while my husband is perfect, I'm not, which leads to an inherently flawed partnership. But I try. I try really fucking hard to make sure that what I have invested so much of my time and heart in doesn't fall apart because IT became hard.
If you don't fight for your love, with your love, how the fuck will it ever last.

nine inch nails

2009-06-05T13:46:00.002-04:00

Tonight, I am going to see nine inch nails for the first time. I am extremely excited, however the weather is positively awful. Like cold, rainy, WINDY.
The last two times I have been to the Tweeter Center in Camden, the weather has been pure shyte.
Velvet Revolver/Alice In Chains - August 2007 - freezing, rainy, shitty. Lawn seats.
Stone Temple Pilots/Staind - May 2008 - freezing, rainy, shitty. Inside seats.

So, I have learned my lesson - the Tweeter Center = shit weather is here to come. So I went ahead and purchased the more expensive tickets so that I don't get covered in mud and get cranky as hell.

BUT...I will be seeing nin, which makes me like, want to spank someone.

I guess my

2009-06-01T15:08:00.000-04:00

allergies are hardcore acting up? because my eyeballs are on fire. oh yes, and i believe i may have ingested a less than tip top clam so i am seriously suffering.

Online Pharmacies

2009-05-29T10:54:00.002-04:00

I was on a medication that was taken off the market, oh, about two years ago. It made my life close to 100% better, but the FDA likes to give it to people up the ass with a cheesegrater, so I was left to fend for myself.
I initially took the risk and used an online pharmacy which I cannot recall right now - I received my medication, albeit wrapped in the Indian Times, but it came with free viagra which was awesome. Unfortunately, they DO send spam about C1aL1s so that sucks. But, no identity theft, no weird charges on my credit card. Eventually I found another website that was cheaper and offered bonus pills of the medication you actually needed as opposed to unsolicited Viagra. Which was still awesome, but Christ I really was just looking for my medication.
This place allows for expedited shipping, and with each order, because I am a repeat customer, I get 20% free pills, so I essentially get almost an extra month's worth of medication for no additional charge. They have customer service, don't spam, and what REALLY got me, is that I was looking for a drug (honestly don't feel like going through all of the insurance bullshit and still having to pay a horrendous co-pay, etc., etc.) , and thought "Why don't I just email my online pharmacy and see if they will ever stock it or if they can recommend someone?"
They got back to me in less than 24 hours with a message that unfortunately didn't help me because they don't stock it and didn't have anyone else to refer me to, but they GOT BACK TO ME.

My point is, that so many people look down their noses at international pharmacies but some of them are completely legit. And if you don't feel like going to the doctor on a Tuesday afternoon, paying the $20.00 - $40.00 co-pay, going to get the script filled, having to go back in, pay another $20.00+ co-pay JUST do get another script, it may be worth your while.

dude...

2009-05-28T15:01:00.001-04:00

i'm ficking annoyed.

Oh yeah...

2009-05-19T15:27:00.002-04:00

...I have so much fucking laundry to do! Heading to Wilmington, NC this weekend to go see my Mom and she is giving us some PIMP furniture for the den - I'm serious - like black leather couch and recliner, marble tables...unreal. So we're renting a moving fan to come back in on Monday (taking Benz down together) and JR gets to drive the Penske truck back.
Peep this - was going to be $450.00 for a U-Haul, costing us $230.00 TOTAL for the Penske and we are getting, no lie, like 8k worth of furniture.
I got my hair done and I am pretty sure I said "highlight more than lowlight" - I definitely have chunks of black in my hair along with the platinum. Rocking the skunk. Oh yes, and I have my nails painted goal so I can say I "have the golden touch" ahahahahahahahahahaahaha I fucking love my life.

I love...

2009-05-19T15:25:00.000-04:00

...ALCOHOL!!!

!!!

2009-05-06T09:44:00.001-04:00

Just found a banana slice at the bottom of the parfait! The struggle has been worth it!

Breakfast Parfaits

2009-05-06T09:41:00.002-04:00

While delicious, who the hell knew they could be this filling? I'm seriously struggling to finish it. If I don't, in like 30 minutes I am going to be gnawing on my arm.
My iced tea has an ABSURD amount of ice in it (I understand that when having iced tea, ice is inherent, but this is fucking ridiculous). Like, cannot get straw through all of the ice to reach the bottom of my cup. Jesus.

i can't sleep.

2009-05-05T10:01:00.001-04:00

icantsleepicantsleepicantsleepicantsleepicantsleep
icantsleepicantsleepicantsleepicantsleepicantsleep
icantsleepicantsleepicantsleepicantsleepicantsleep
icantsleepicantsleepicantsleepandidontknowwhy.

Stop raining.

2009-05-04T15:49:00.002-04:00

RIGHT NOW.

I drank too much Iced Tea Crystal Lite.
I am too tired to be at work.
I really want a foot rub.
I have roses on my desk from a really considerate candidate who is now my client.
I miss my husband.
I miss Seamus.
I have bills to pay.
I need a bikini wax.
I have insanely curly hair due to the Title of this blog.
I am experiencing aggressive allergies.
I love pharm animals.
Yes that was a play on words.
I made a roast pork shoulder last night and it was awesome.
I JUST got done dealing with my email after taking two days off.
I wish it was 4:52 p.m. and not 3:52 p.m.
I have a Corona tunic on my bottle of water.
I am going to wear a facemask in honor of Cinco de Mayo tomorrow.
I know that is mean.

I am really sore

2009-04-28T14:33:00.001-04:00

Like someone beat the shit out of me. I mean, I'm sure it was in a good way. But ouch.

You have to go to this website.

2009-04-24T11:25:00.002-04:00

I suddenly feel so, so much better about myself and anything my drunken antics have caused.

http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/

Preview:
(504): dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
(985): doesn't he have a girlfriend???
(504): yeah...who do you think woke us up...

I'm Wolverine.

2009-04-23T14:55:00.002-04:00

Or something akin to him because I SHREDDED my palm on the cling wrap razor last night and now it is almost completely healed.
Unreal.
It hurt like a mother this morning and I honestly didn't notice it again until just now because it has that "I'm just about done healing" purplish/pinkish look to it.

My husband is still...

2009-04-14T11:49:00.001-04:00

...a Mets fan. Probably for the same reason I am a Yankees fan.
We're masochists. Ha.

What to do when you are confronted with an ugly baby?

2009-04-13T15:33:00.002-04:00

Seriously. I have no idea how to hide my revulsion and slowly back away before I am handed a damp, pureed pee-smelling baby.
My response of late to the ugly baby presentation has been a surprised "OH!" which I feel can be camoflaged to appear to be delight.
Outside of that, I am at a loss.
What is more perplexing, is that people will build the kid up, i.e., "He is the cutest baby," "I've never seen a sweeter baby," "YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE IT." Right. Imagine my surprise (see above) when the baby is FUGLY.

My dog...

2009-04-10T07:08:00.002-04:00

Woke me up at 4:00 a.m. And I have been working. Even though I have the day off. FML.

I'm having a reaction to platinum.

2009-04-08T16:14:00.003-04:00

So, about two months after I got married, my ring finger started swelling and turning red with itching. I associated it with vodka consumption and thought nothing of it.
Since my wedding, I have gained about 10 pounds (working it off...like 5 more to go...sheesh) so I also assumed that had something to do with it (my husband has gain THIRTY pounds and his ring still fits...life is so unfair).
So, as I have been working out, my ring has been fitting better, I have been avoiding vodka.
But - my left ring finger continues to get very hot, itchy, and rashy with little blisters on it when I wear my ring. I begin to fear I have an allergy. I tell my husband and of course he is furious because the cost of the ring is atrocious. So, I kind of forget about it, but lately it has been fitting, but alas very itchy and gross. I haven't worn my ring since like Friday because I was doing yardwork, and while it has fit every morning, each time I slide it on, I instantly can feel it getting tight on my finger and irritating.
This morning after the gym, I look down and see a small blister on the side of my finger. MOTHERFUCKER. And it is slighty itchy - like - my finger itches INSIDE.
At work I decide to Google "effing platinum allergy?" and sure enough...HOARDES of people with the same exact symptoms as mee. So I am going to...let me find the paper...
1. Soak my rings overnight in 2-parts distilled white vinegar, 1-part hydrogen peroxide.
2. Boil my rings for 15 minutes
3. Apply an anti-fungal cream to my finger

According to the website I was on, some people were fine with just the soak or just the soak and boil, or all three. This better fucking work. I love my rings and am so effing annoyed that I can't wear them!

where the fug...

2009-03-26T17:01:00.001-04:00

is my fugging period???????

Jason Segel

2009-03-20T15:20:00.000-04:00

Has an ENORMOUS penis. I might go see "I Love You, Man" purely for that reason.

Today

2009-03-20T15:17:00.001-04:00

I realized I don't like looking at people. I hope it is only because I am hungover.

Sandwiches

2009-03-18T17:08:00.003-04:00

I have begun a love affair with sandwiches.
Preferred is turkey on either a kaiser roll or white bread with a little bit of mayo (I fear mayo in large quantities - a side effect of growing up with a mother who was always on Weight Watchers. Mayo is somewhere in between Hitler and Lucifer) plus salt and pepper.
Second is roast beef with cheddar or something akin to cheddar.
Not a huge "salad" fan (ahh probably because there is so much mayo in it - I love making connections) - egg salad, tuna salad, chicken salad however while at the local deli the other day, someone got an egg salad sandwich and I was weirdly attracted to it.

Shut up - I'd fuck many things, but most certainly NOT an egg salad sandwich.

I am also a fan of the warm sandwich ala panini-style in the form of a Cuban sandwich or something like what I had today with roast beef, provolone, and some orange-colored aioli. It was insanely good.
The problem with paninis is that they will ultimately cut the roof of your mouth. Remember how you felt when you ate Captain Crunch? This pain is so much more worth it than Captain Crunch was. I personally was a Kix person.

2009-03-16T20:25:00.003-04:00

damn i like you move
lets get it poppin shorty we can change position

you got me sayin' A-YOOOO

My husband and I totally just had a jam session to the Milow version of A-Yo Technology. Love this guy.

Moving on to CKY.

Reverse Ageism?

2009-03-13T11:03:00.004-04:00

In my line of work, because I am third party, I can kind of practice ageism if say, the hiring manager is 48, I know I can't send someone older than him. It just is WEIRD and unspoken.
I cannot blatantly put on job boards "If you graduated college before 1995, please don't apply" which would make my life EXCEEDINGLY simple.

Point - I put all of the requirements for what I am working on - completely objective stuff such as:
- 2-4 years of medical sales experience, current (TRANSLATION: THIS MEANS NOT YOU ASSHOLE: IF YOU THOUGHT YOU'D GET AN EASY GIG AS A REALTOR AND ARE NOW CLAMBERING BACK INTO THE INDUSTRY. Everyone you KNEW in 2001 has converted to someone else's products so JOG ON! I can't make a fee off you you!)
- Bachelor's Degree
- Documented track record of success, i.e., President's Club, Top 10% ranking in sales force CONSISTENTLY (not when you were selling copiers in 1999, but like, throughout your career which means you are a legit sales rep)

So, there may be a great candidate that applies, but is, oh, 10 years too old for the manager I am working for. I ignore. They keep applying and applying...then they start calling. See, our contact information is NEVER on job postings because our industry is TRULY a "Don't call us, we'll call you" space. Being in such a small shop, I don't have the luxury of taking every single call of a pharmaceutical rep that sees my posting and despite have NONE of the required experience, is "PERFECT FOR THE JOB!" "Get me in front of the hiring manager and I'll make sure you get your fee!" No fuckhead, if I send your resume, which is the exact OPPOSITE of what my client wants, they'll tell ME to jog on, and I'll be out a client because they would think I am incompetent. Which I most certainly would look like. So, I, unlike these people who stalk me, will follow the instructions of the person I am trying to impress (see: CLIENT).
Ahem, NO PHONE CALLS MEANS NO FUCKING PHONE CALLS. How can I expect to represent you if you don't follow one fucking simple request?

Got waaaay off topic there, but seriously. "I'm a candidate, I'm your product, I'm the reason you make money. You should take my call" "No, you're not. For every 100 candidates I speak to a day, I may place, on average, .50 of you, maybe .75 of you."

Here is my point. I can't blatantly say, "Dude, you're too old for this, I'll get in trouble for sending you" and that being that, I have to dance and dodge and say "Wellllll...I know you have everything they are looking for...but you weren't selected for an interview...because...urm...someone had more experience?" Only to place a kid 10 years that candidate's junior, and the candidate knows I am full of shit once they run into them in the field.

Side note: I am full of shit most of the time. I try not to be, but I'm a recruiter. Clients tell me one thing, I go out and pitch the job, find candidate, only to learn 1. job is on hold, 2. whoops! had a completely unqualified internal referral, 3. hmmm now I think I want people with "x" experience as opposed to "y" - please start over, 4. silence from client, 5. the position is paying 50k less.
Let's be fair: I am not intentionally full of shit.

But my point is this:
Our Constitution says, "No person … shall be eligible to the office of president who has not attained to the age of 35."

How the fuck am I supposed to not practice ageism when ageism is a REQUIREMENT to attain the presidency? The most important fucking job in the country (possibly the world, depending on who you speak to) demands that only a certain age is allowed. I wonder what happens at 35 to qualify you. I know that as a woman, that is supposed to be our sexual peak. Perhaps I'd fuck my way to world peace?

Well, only a certain age is allowed to sell my clients' products. And my clients' products are a MUCH smaller deal than being the leader of the free world.

???

2009-03-13T10:33:00.001-04:00

why the hell doesn't anyone come to work anymore?? CHRIST.

Red High Heels and a Turkey Sandwich

2009-03-12T14:25:00.003-04:00

Two highlights of my day. But please don't think I live an unfulfilled life. Nay, I have searched for a suitable pair of dark red stilettos since the summer of 2006. Now this quest may appear to be trivial to you, however I saw them on a girl I cared more than less about, but I had to concede that they looked completely fabulous with EVERyTHING.
Fast forward to December 2008. Shopping with some friends at lunch, and come across Bandolino where they were having a tremendous sales. There they were. In the back. For $31.00. Not kidding. $110.00 shoes for $31.00. A gorgeous deep red color (not garnet, not fire-engine, kind of like a brick?) with a very subtle red crocodile skin liner around the back with a small brass buckle. Hard to explain, but whatever. I instantly loved these shoes, and wore them quite sparingly in an effort not to wear them down, as I insist on wearing heels from home to work and back again. None of this running shoe with slacks and a jacket look. Christ that's infuriating.
Fast forward again to, like, February. Noticed the right heel started to wobble a little. Not a major catastrophe, but noticeable and I had to be cautious when I walked. A friend said her heel had been doing that for two years, and she was just fine, so what the hell.
Beginning of March, I come home and am in the kitchen. My husband wasn't home quite yet, but Seamus was because, well, he's a dog. I had barely taken my coat off when my love comes through the garage door. I go to give him a greeting and Seamus was so overwhelmed, he got underneathe my legs (110lb yellow lab vs. 135lbs blonde = pile o' flesh). I stumbled backwards and felt the right heel bend in finality. I couldn't take another step. Frustrated and saddened, I figured I would take it to the shoe repair business around the block from my office (exceptional I might add...terrifying to walk into and cash only, but they do great work). A day turned into a week, a week turned into two, and I hadn't found the time or had the available cash (not that I don't have money, it's the whole "cash in hand deal" - very much so a debit card chick). Finally, on Monday I say "this is the day!!! I am getting my heel fixed!!" Unfortunately, on Monday, I was recovering from a rather rambunctious weekend which involved the Philadelphia Beer Festival and friends that are entirely too easy to drink with. Decided upon lunch as well, and had forgotten my debit card altogether (I told you I was a mess on Monday) so I couldn't even pop into Rite Aid for a 20. Tuesday rolls around, am running late for my staff meeting and yet AGAIN I forget my debit card. Wednesday, it is rainy and disgusting and quite frankly, I couldn't be bothered. This morning I woke up and knew I would be wearing my slim leg khaki slacks with a light green cardigan. The best complement to that outfit is MY EFFING RED HEELS which had now been sitting in my office for four days. I throw on another pair of slingbacks and head into the city. Go up to my office, throw my bag down, grab my shoes and off I went. I needed to get back to the office because it has been unbelievably busy, but I needed these shoes to be fixed (I have had to force myself to not say "better" as it is not normal to humanize shoes). I stop at the ATM (Bank of America - NOT MY BANK - but hey, I'll pay $1.50 for convenience ONLY it turned out to be $3.00 fucking dollars for a surcharge. Ridiculous and I will continue to talk shit about the Bank of America from this day forward). I go to the shoe repair place, and the little Asian man that works there looks at is and goes..."Oooh...$18.00?" FINE. I look at another employee and plead "I love these shoes, please fix them." The Asian guy looks at me and says "Late today?" NO. NOT LATE TODAY. I beg him for 12:30 p.m. and he agrees.
At 12:45 p.m., I can finally get away from work - I run out - get my shoes - they take them out of the brown paper bag they were in (told you this wasn't exactly high class for Center City, but hey...) and they are PERFECT.
I skip to a local deli, get a turkey sandwich, and more happy today than I was yesterday after getting a 25k place.

Also, we went to a fabulous sushi restaurant last night (little BYO by our house - four rolls, six pieces of shashimi, soup, gyoza = $50.00) - DONE!

Fuck.

2009-03-11T11:22:00.000-04:00

That's all.

MORE Handicapped Spots

2009-03-09T17:15:00.001-04:00

MORE handicapped spots in the parking lot. What the FUCK is wrong with them???

Empire is still the best...

2009-03-03T16:22:00.000-05:00

They seriously rolled in, installed our carpet, on the day they said they would. Took them 2.5 hours and it looks amazing. Hooray!

Empire is so much better than Home Depot

2009-03-02T11:28:00.003-05:00

So, we ordered a new carpet for the nasty den on the 7th - I recall writing about it. Guess what? Still not here. The man called the installer on Friday and was like "wtf? we were told the carpet would be in Jersey by Tuesday, it is now Friday, and no carpet." The c-rag was rude to him and said we have to call Home Depot. Call Home Depot, and they say the carpet supplier has no carpet. So...Home Depot? You outsource your carpet sales to a carpet supplier that has no carpet? And no one thought to call us? "Well, normally we ask if there was an alternative color you would like, but since they have no carpet, there was no point." My husband was pretty pissed by now - he asked when did they expect it to be here. Next Wednesday...it will have been five weeks since our inital trip to HD, and we STILL had to wait for the installer to fit us into their schedule. Fuck THAT. We demanded our money back, which we got.

The same morning, he called Empire. At this point, we needed carpet immediately because we had begun to completely neglect/abuse the den carpet because we thought we were getting a new one! They set us up for an estimate the NEXT morning, between 9:00 a.m. and 11:00 a.m. Our sales guy rolls in at 10:00 a.m., was as nice as can be (he was completely cool with Seamus molesting him), measured, then told us the total, for Empire to remove our carpet (we were responsible for that with HD), the carpet pad (6.5 lb carpet pad as opposed to 4 lb carpet pad), the same quality carpet, furniture removal, and Monday installation, was $730.00. And we only needed to depost $25.00.

Our total, for the shitty service and NO carpet was $1,098.00 with Home Depot. And did I mention they made us pay 90% before they even installed? So we were horribly inconvenienced, but they were just fine because they had $900.00 of my dollars. Fucking hell.

Unfortunately the carpet is not being installed today because of a blizzard that has rolled in, but I imagine they will do it tomorrow or Wednesday. The moral of my story is DON'T BOTHER with Home Depot or Lowe's - they lure you in with the $139.00 installation! deal, but it is ridiculously expensive, and because they outsource the carpet, the person who actually provides the service treats you like shit because they are protected by the wall of Home Depot.
So far, I am 2000% more impressed with Empire - I will let you know if the carpet looks good/bad/so-so and if it gets installed within the next 48 hours.

www.fmylife.com - My New Obsession

2009-02-26T10:57:00.002-05:00

www.fmylife.com
NSFW, but fucking hilarious. Unless of course, you work where I do, and anything goes.

When I grow up, I want to be an FML contributor. Until then, I will enjoy other people's misery. This is my pick of the day:
Today, I had the cops called on me because I accidently texted "I'm going to kill you and use your head as hood ornament" to my ex-fiance, instead of my best friend. I only texted that because he got a better grade on an exam than me. Now I have a court date. FML

Dry Air

2009-02-19T11:51:00.003-05:00

I am so fucking hungry and it is unbelievably dry in my office so my eyes are bothering me and my throat is scratchy.
I DEFINITELY have to get my nails painted today because while making pesto last night (which I thought was going to come out waaaaaay too strong but ended up being quite tasty indeed despite the exorbitant amount of garlic I put in) I chopped down on my left thumb nail, causing the paint to chip off. Not a huge deal if I was wearing a light color, however I am wearing a dark blue sapphire color so it is glaringly obvious.
Today is the husband's birthday! I booked him a 90-minute Swedish massage in a few weeks (if I gave him the gift certificate, he'd never go) at 11:00 a.m., then I'll pick him up and take him to lunch, then later on that night we'll go into the city and watch the Pro-Lacrosse team that plays here. The games are so fun, and he has never been!
Tonight we're going to dinner, and on Saturday, we're heading up to Triumph Brewery because he is such a homebrewer and since I've already taken him to Lambertville, he may enjoy this. We're getting up there early evening for some pints before his parents join us, then dinner. On Sunday we're going over to his other set of parents' house for another birthday dinner. I'm glad people are making a big deal about him - he always gets thought of last, but heaven help us all if he forgets to send a CARD for his aunt's wedding anniversary or something like that...no wait...I catch shit...he just gets guilt trips.
Anywho, he's a wonderful man, and he deserves a great day! Off to my Lean Cuisine before I come through the computer screen and eat you.

Handicapped Parking Spots

2009-02-17T14:32:00.003-05:00

You probably aren't going to like me after you read this. But that's okay. Because I think it might be important for this to be said, and I will take the fall for it. If you have read my post on crossing guards, life guards, etc., you really should have seen this coming.

Where I park my car everyday, at the high speed rail line to come into the city, there was always a considerable amount of parking spaces for handicapped people, yet of the hmmm...20 - 25 spots, probably a little less then half were occupied. Around Christmas time, or the holiday season, whatever, fuck you, they chose to repave the entire parking lot, which was great, because there was a tremendous amount of pot holes and other broken asphalt everywhere.

Now, in the same close parking lot where the handicapped spots were, there were about 10 metered spots. Meaning that people who will willing to pay $1.25 versus those willing to pay $1.00 more were able to walk about 200 feet right into the station whereas I paid only $1.00 and had to walk about 225 feet. The unlucky truth about the metered spots is they are highly HIGHLY watched by the Delaware River Port Authority parking cops (I don't know why they exist either, but sometimes they bring a Labrador to the station and all is forgiven). If you park in this spot and get tied up at work and are running, oh, 30 minutes late and your time expires, you get hit with a $30.00 ticket! If you park in the $1.00 spots, you probably could leave your car there for a few days before someone comes looking for a dead body.

Anywho, to prevent these $30.00 tickets, people would pay for much more than 10 hours worth of parking ($0.25 for every two hours = $1.25) and the parking authority was really getting away with people pay up to $2.00 a day to park. Smart scheme, am I correct? I, too, have fell victim of throwing all of my change in there on a day where I am running late in an effort to cut off about 35 seconds of walking time to catch a train.

For about two weeks after they paved the lot, where all of the parking meters were, there were just metal poles. You could now park in a premium spot for free! I totally did it, and felt superior when I strutted to my car and all of the other commuters watched slackjawed as I slid right in and took off, while they walked to their $1.00 spots or WORSE. The free, spooky far away spots.

Then one day, the metal poles were replaced with MORE handicapped signs. Now there are only five metered spots, and the handicapped spots remain as empty as ever.

While this was a very long winded build to my point, I am frustrated with the parking authorities lack of business acumen. Clearly we will never have enough handicapped people at our station to necessitate that many spots and they chose to LOSE money to accomodate these invisible disabled people. Our trains are from about 1962 and frequently break down on the Ben Franklin Bridge. Fox29 choppers and everything.

The last point I will make on this subject is this: I don't believe that all of the people with the removable handicapped tags are, in fact, handicapped. I (will totally own this as wrong) had a friend in high school whose father was handicapped and could never leave the house. He absolutely deserved his handicapped tag but since he wasn't going anywhere, we'd hop in her Ford Taurus and role into every HC spot available. Even at Windmill. At 2:30 a.m. to get french fries. The only reason I feel no remorse is that we were 16 and I have grown up. But I will admit that I was a completely, self-absorbed, selfish 16 year old (and 15, and 14, and 13, and so on and so forth).

Some mornings, I will be walking from my $1.00 parking spot (you cross through the handicapped lot to get in to the station - there simply isn't a way around it) and I will observe the cars. Some beautifully maintained BMWs, haggard 1987 Honda Accords, and Expeditions with ski racks on top...
Wait. Why the FUCK do you have a ski rack? Why is there a SINGLE pair skis in your backseat? Why the fuck do they look like they are YOURS??? Okay...calming down.

And sometimes, I walk through the parking lot in my 3 1/2 inch stilettos at 7:30 a.m., I hear tires squeal, and someone who is clearly smarter then I, slams his handicapped tag up on his rearview mirror and goes running past me.

Oh BROTHER

2009-02-11T13:50:00.002-05:00

Hi there,
Long time no talk. Our new bedroom set was delivered:

Lovely, isn't it? We chose not to get the armoire, but the media stand instead, which comes in a week or two so that I don't have to have the flat screen on the gorgeous dresser blocking our $500.00 mirror.

Work has been good - I have been exhausted and not feeling great so I am going to the doctor on Friday, the 13th (mooowahahhahhaa). I positively despise going out to eat on Valentine's Day due to the fact that most restaurants have a *special* menu and it typically blows. So, instead, I suggested we go to dinner on Friday, the 13th. There is a restaurant I have been wanting to go to for quite some time and I was able to get us a 9:00 p.m. reservation - figured we'd do cocktails at a restaurant down the street beforehand, considering it is a BYO.

On the 14th, we're having an estimator come in for new carpeting in the den. We have this ATROCIOUS blue stained carpet in there, so I will be glad to see it go. It will be cold and rainy, so JR had the idea of cooking for each other and staying in, which I think is a great idea.

Anywhooooo back to work I go. Had an awesome lunch consisting on mussels and Sauvignon Blanc. I am so happy!

I drank vodka

2009-01-14T15:41:00.002-05:00

And the Giants lost this weekend. I got so so shitty. I cannot drink more than one vodka beverage ever again. We were at a friend's house and I have like incredibly spotty memory of the evening.
Anyway. Got the Mustang for JR - he loves it, I love it, so there was much rejoicing. And the better the situation, the dealer gave me a loaner car until my car is repaired.
Did I mention my Mazda was RUINED about three weeks ago? JR was backing up and some peckerhead was speeding down our street in the SLEET and ruined it. Hopefully it will be done by the 16th as planned so I can sell it.
Tonight we're going to get a new bedroom set - it is so gorgeous and appropriately called The Martini Set. Dark wood, canopy bed, yadda yadda.

So, Wachovia kind of annoyed me. Now I have money and they are calling me to make sure I am "satisfied" when two months ago when my floating balance was $217, they could give two shits. It is true, money CAN buy happiness because people actually give a fuck about you when you have it.

My new jacket...

2009-01-08T13:48:00.005-05:00

So pretty!
I have wanted a motorcyclesque leather jacket FOREVER and my husband finally got one for me! I am thrilled.

It sure has been a while - I just got back from lunch at Good Dog...http://www.gooddogbar.com/...
An relatively good bar close to my office where you can have a pint. I had the Brie and Roasted Tomato Pesto sandwich and it was scrumptious and I was able to avoid the fries.

Thanksgiving was spent in Mexico...did I write about that? Was naked and intoxicated at this awesome resort for five days. Couldn't have spent turkey day better!

December was REALLY uneventful - FINALLY received my first commission check ever so that was a relief. My next one (which is so ridiculously huge) comes tomorrow with the hopes of purchasing a new Mustang for the man. He absolutely deserves one after supporting us so much this year. He is wonderful. Then we need to pay some bills, but that won't be an issue.

Christmas Eve was so much fun - went to my in-laws that live close by, and they do the whole seafood thing because my Mother-in-Law is very Italian, but it was hilarious because they gave it a south Jersey twist. After 10 years of feeding me and me not contributing anything, I asked if I could bring some lobster, because I wanted to let them know how much I appreciate them always welcoming me into their home, when I was a poor high schooler, poor colleger, and poor post-colleger. It was such a great night.

Christmas was stressful. I got to see Mr. Cook, an old neighbor that has been the closest thing to a grandfather to me. I surprised him - the look on his face when he looked out the door was priceless. I was so happy to spend some time with him; I missed him last year because he had already left for dinner at his daughter's.

My MOMMY CAME UP! The day after Christmas we picked her up and I had her all weekend - we had such a great time - went to a wonderful restaurant. Seamus was so happy to have his Nanny there - he absolutely adores her and woke her up every morning. It is brutal when she leaves.

New Year's Eve was fun, too - we went to a restaurant that has great seafood with my Dad and in-laws and they seemed to really enjoy it, too. We kind of had happy hour at our house first; I got some shrimp and we had drinks. It is nice hanging out with your parents and feeling like an equal - they absolutely want your opinion and want you to contribute and be a resource. I like adding to my parents' lives and feeling wanted as opposed to feeling like a burden.
After dinner we went to my brother-in-laws because I really didn't feel like dragging Seamus up to a friend's house that is 1.5 hours away, nor did I feel like going into the city (but being outside on a boat somewhere...not fun for Meggy), so we went down there so we could have our dogs play. Let me tell you, I blacked out that night, woke up the next morning, had Pizza Bagels, kept drinking, drank all through the next night (this night was vodka, the night before was rum, so I am assuming that is why I was not hung over New Year's morning), but I woke up on the 2nd and thought someone had beaten me severely with a baseball bat. It took me a full day and a 1/2 to recover. I sent my sister an email saying that New Year's did its intended job: I CANNOT DRINK ANYMORE. Not literally, but I don't have the liver of a 21-year old anymore. So, I am going to be sticking to wine, and a little beer with the *occasional* cocktail which will probably be Captain and Diet...my old standby that never, ever hurt me as much as vodka.

In addition to getting obliterated, I also yelled at a representative from LA Fitness because they called me like 20x to set up my personal training consultation - I am not exaggerating. They called me nonstop within a two week period. And this is AFTER I had paid $500.00 to join - they already had my money! What else do you want from me? Anyway, I was screaming and curing and carrying on, and the rep was just like, "You can't talk to me like this - call me back when you calm down and aren't cursing." Seriously, I felt like such a piece of shit. So I called up and apologized and he said it was okay, but then my phone died. I felt so bad, but then the next day I checked my voicemail and it was the rep saying everything was cool, he heard me apologize and that he would take me off the call list and if there was ever a problem to come to him. I shit you not - the NEXT voicemail was from LA Fitness asking me if I was ready to get starting on my New Year's resolution. At this point, I just laughed. Whatever...there are so many more important things to worry about than LA Fitness.

But that leads me to another realization - there is no reason to get that angry over stupid things. Someone getting hit by a drunk driver - yes. A doctor missing cancer in your Mom's best friend because they were too busy with someone/thing else - yes. LA Fitness trying desperately to get me in the door to sign me up for something I clearly don't want and have displayed by not returning their 21 voicemails and 15 missed calls with no voicemail - no. It's a gym. They don't want me to be a fatass. They make money off of me NOT being a fatass. But I will not be mean to anyone ever again. Period. Speaking of which, I am getting it and I feel like garbage :-P

Williams and Sonoma want you to be fat.

2008-11-24T11:40:00.002-05:00

There.
I said it.
May the gods of homegoods forsake me. But they have already forsaken me.
I received the new W and S this weekend, foaming at the mouth for what new, excessive new kitchen gadget I may purchase (or just dream about until I have more money to purchase a parsley de-leafer...no more plucking for me!). I open it up, and all that is there is fucking chocolate. And fucking cakes. For $75.00 mother fucking dollars.
They had a section, albeit small, but still a section, for cheese and tasty savory treats, but WHAM right back to fucking chocolate.
W and S, you should be ashamed of yourself. Maybe I should be ashamed of myself for allowing you to get away with selling me croissants for $80.00 a dozen. Anyway, you are all going to be fat, poor fucks if we allow this to continue.
Just sayin.

p.s. WHY THE FUCK CAN'T I USE AN AMPERSAND IN MY BLOG?

heard in my office...

2008-11-21T11:53:00.000-05:00

...President of my company walking by my office saying, "We need to make sure she has a VERY good vacuum cleaner!!"
hahahahahahaha

Guards

2008-11-19T15:17:00.003-05:00

Lifeguards. Crossing guards. They are just excuses for people not to be accountable for their own actions.
Want to go in the ocean but can't swim? Get ready to drown.
Want to cross the street? Wait at the stop light to turn red so you can safely cross in the crosswalk.
Or play in traffic.

You would really be making my life so much less annoying (and amusing!) I'll wait.

Boost Mobile is fucking hilarious...

2008-11-11T10:25:00.000-05:00

Guilty Pleasures...

2008-11-10T16:40:00.001-05:00

#47. Rob Thomas
#48. Rob Zombie

Just sayin'

Seamus took a bath...

2008-10-21T16:13:00.001-04:00

And he was really, truly, seriously angry with JR about it. For a dog that sincerely enjoys water, he loathes the idea of getting into the shower. See, we have to put him in the shower, turn on the water, close the glass door, and make him stand there for anywhere between five and 10 minutes in an effort to get him completely soaked, thus making his Oatmeal shampoo as effective as possible. So, I lure him in with "Oh, there's Mommy's sweet handsome Moo..." and then JR jumps behind him and shuts the bathroom door. I scoot out, and that is when the interesting noises commence, and the house shakes. I hear Seamus scrambling around in the bathtub for five to 10 minutes, then the water stops. Then JR start's shouting, "Seamus! Stop! Come on, Moo. Stop!" Five more minutes of this, 10 more minutes of water running. Then, I hear the leap out of the bathtub and the expecting shaking of wet dog. JR starts to towel him down, then there is more, "Seamus! Stop! Come on, Moo. Stop!"
Then I hear, "Mommy, get ready..."
Out comes my Golden Eyed Seamus Lars, his hair still damp, and before I can even get up from the desk chair to start telling him what a handsome, handsome, boy he is, he is sticking is wet snout in my armpit and I turn around and give him some chicken jerky.

It is never sunny in Philadelphia

2008-09-26T11:37:00.000-04:00

Seriously, it is pure shit outside. Work has been busy and I have been avoiding working on the house. Tonight we're going out for sushi, and I think JR's sister and boyfriend are coming down for drinks. Tomorrow is a margarita party in DELAWARE!

It's time to

2008-09-10T15:30:00.002-04:00

		http://www.mp3lyrics.org/BL3E

Meet your master. Bow down in position Against the polished steel This is something different You'll like the way this feels No time for asking questions No time for wondering We've heard enough from you now We've heard everything We're going to play a new game You'll put on this blind fold You'll do what we tell you You'll do as your told Used to be the leader Now comes the time to serve Maybe we show some mercy Maybe you get what you deserve Count down to the end Gotta make it come faster, faster Right around the bend Is a coming disaster Count down to the end And We're headed there faster Come on down my friend It's time to meet your master You've left quite a mess here Under your stewardship You thought you'd figured it out but You'll learn your place in this Might take some convincing For you to see the truth There are so many things We've got in store for you Count down to the end Gotta make it come faster, faster Right around the bend Is a coming disaster Count down to the end And We're headed there faster Come on down my friend It's time to meet your master

Hey bitches!

2008-09-08T17:12:00.002-04:00

Hey whaaaat?
Happy September btw...
Work is going well - in commission dollars so ching ching.
Labor Day weekend was unreal - I am:
1. Lucky to be alive
2. Late for confession
3. Now addicted to Cafe Patron tequila. Yeesh.

One of my favorite people is actually leaving our company so I am very sad. She is moving to eastern shore of DE and since I am probably not allowed back into that state, who knows when I will see her when she is gone? Beers and burgers to send her off on Friday, though.

New assistant starting this coming Monday - fingers crossed!

This weekend was reconnect with JR weekend and BOY DID WE! AWESOME!! I AM GOING HOME TO DO MORE RECONNECTING! :-D

Tonight...

2008-08-20T16:16:00.002-04:00

I am going to go to the eye doctor, get a bottle of wine, eat a bowl of pasta, and watch Law & Order. Doesn't that sound swell?

Work has been...hmm...awkward. The President of my company is giving me the cold shoulder since I began a revolution in my office for more money. The Partner of my company is making a concerted effort to make me feel wanted and valued, so I am doing my best to stick it out for her. We'll see.

This weekend, we are going to a Mennonite wedding. Don't know what that is? Think Amish, but a bit more modern. There will be no drinking or dancing, so I am a tad concerned about how I will make friends, considering I typically loosen up when I am 1. Dancing and 2. Drinking. Again, we'll see.
Sunday is my mother-in-law's birthday, so me, the man, my sister-in-law, her man, mother-in-law, and father-in-law wait, just got off the phone, now grandparent's-in-law are coming too which means we probably have to reassess where we are going. Damn. I really wanted to go to Vietnam in the city. :-(

Did you know...

2008-08-12T17:04:00.001-04:00

That Snuffleupagus was invisible to everyone except Big Bird?

I didn't!

And his first name was Aloysious?

Go fucking figure!

Live was so awesome AHHHHHHHHHHH

2008-08-11T11:54:00.003-04:00

Really. Fantastic.
JR and I had an absolutely BALL drinking at Finnigan's then going to Festival Pier to see the show. Blues Traveler was incredible (+John Popper smoking a bowl on stage), Collective Soul was the fantastic rock star group, and Live was...well...LIVE. One hour, 45 minute long orgasm. Really truly great. Kind of wished they didn't close with Lightening Crashes...heard a rumor that they had been closing with White Discussion and that would have been saaaweeeet.
Saturday, JR and I tidied up the yard - he mowed the lawn, I weeded and let me tell you, an hour and half of work made quite the different. My friend came down from Jersey City for dinner and it was so much fun - three and a half bottles of wine later - we were hysterical on the couch! Such a nice time and so wonderful to catch up.
Sunday was super chill...started really nice...thought maybe I would lay out, JR was changing the oil on the cars so I grabbed a beach chair, put Seamus on the lead and hung out with him while listening to the new Disturbed album (Indestructible...quite kick ass...think I'll put it on again...already listened to it but hey, told you it was great). We're hanging out, and the sky to the west starts turning black. The sky in the east was this gorgeous blue/gold color. We start hearing faint rumblings, initially thinking it may be trucks or something - nope...THUNDER. I take Moo inside because if it began to downpour, there would be no way to avoid wet smelly dog in the house.
I go inside and check the weather station because JR said a huge system was coming - turn it on and there is literally one green speck over DELAWARE. I'm like...wtf? The radar shifts and this itty bitty green speck becomes a massive red/dark purple mass covering Philadelphia and south NJ. It howled all day - we lost power a few times but really just enjoyed each other's company while watching Lost and Shaun of the Dead. I <3 Sundays.

GEEZ

2008-07-16T12:19:00.002-04:00

I am being stalked by candidates - what part of, "I will call you if the manager would like to see you" do you not fucking understand? EFF.
This weekend was spent in the outdoors YET AGAIN. I am not going to be doing anything with nature for the remainder of the year. Tonight we are going to Chima, a Brazilian steakhouse in Philadelphia, with some friends. I am looking forward to it - we haven't seen these particular people in a few months, and they are just so GOSHDARM wholesome that it is refreshing.
Wow just had ADD. It is now 1/2 hour later and I am eating a Lean Cuisine which is...well...okay. I've had better, but since I am having so much meat (quite you) tonight, I'm having the vegetarian rice and beans mexican dish.

So, what's new?

2008-07-08T16:18:00.002-04:00

Nothing much...just chilling. Had a freaking CRAZY 4th of July weekend - got drunk Friday, got REALLY drunk Saturday, got a new tattoo on Sunday. Work has been busy - have I mentioned an Acct Exec left so I got stuck with all of the accounts that WEREN'T making money? Gr-reeeeeaaa-t. The two money makers went to a senior recruiter (who is already over quota, beeteedubs) and the President of the company. Cute.
Anywho. I think I'll stick it out for the remainder of the year - I am so close to my quota, I'd be like pissing money away. A few chunks of commission, something nice for myself, and then I'll move on. Found a CRAZY tick on Seamus' neck this morning - it was effing huge; JR got it off though.

I barely survived.

2008-06-30T14:30:00.002-04:00

Went camping and MY GOD was that an atrocious experience. It was 1,000 degrees, millions of daddy long legs, and I am positively covered in mosquito bites. But I made it and the hubby had a good time so all is well.
Work has been insane. We had an associate leave the company and all of her shit was plopped in my lap. I mean, she left the company because she was dealing with bullshit accounts whom never hire; why the fuck would I be happy about this? Oh well...just last summer repeating itself, when I took over all of my colleagues accounts while she was on maternity leave and when she came back, I had nothing. They'll probably hire some fuck up to take these accounts after I tidy them up. I am foul today, probably because I itch and over the weekend was just criticized relentlessly for being a Libertarian ("I don't buy any of that Libertarian bullshit.") Are you fucking kidding me? What bullshit?? It's the fucking Constitution, that's IT. So I spent the weekend physically and mentally uncomfortable.
My father-in-law had a mild heart attack over the weekend. Call it what you want, but I call it two things: A big fucking deal and a serious wake up call. I have got to get the man in shape because 1. his dad just had a heart attack and 2. his OTHER set of genes is equally unhealthy. No fucking way we're having a baby just to have him keel over at 30.

This makes me really happy.

2008-06-15T10:34:00.003-04:00

Because we should love everyone and value the services they provide for our country. "Gay people"? Fuck that noise. They are people who just happen to be gay. And I happen to have blond hair. And Seamus happens to be covered in hair. Happy Father's Day - one love for everyone!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

British army to allow uniforms at gay pride march

17 hours ago

LONDON (AP) — Britain's military says soldiers and airmen will be allowed to wear their uniforms to this year's gay pride march in London.

The military said Saturday it would permit British Army and Royal Air Force personnel to show off their military affiliation in the July 5 parade.

The decision brings the forces in line with the Royal Navy, which already allows sailors to participate in uniform.

Britain began allowing gay men and women to serve openly in the military in 2000. While military personnel have been able to participate in the pride march since then, soldiers and airmen have done so in civilian clothes.

Gay rights groups welcomed the decision.

fuck, fuck, mother, mother, fuck fuck

2008-06-12T07:06:00.002-04:00

noitch noitch noitch.

i'm sure i'll be adding to this later.

TBOTE

2008-06-10T15:46:00.002-04:00

In my head all day...I <3 Trent Reznor.

Down on your knees
You'll be left behind
This is the beginning
Watch what you think
They can read your mind
This is the beginning
I got my mark, see it in my eyes
This is the beginning
Well my reflection I don't recognize
This is the beginning
We think we've climbed so high
Up all the backs we've condemned
We face no consequence
This is the beginning of the end
You wait your turn
You'll be last in line
This is the beginning
Get out the way
Cause I'm getting mine
This is the beginning
There are some ones that can help themselves
This is the beginning
May be too late as far as I can tell
This is the beginning
We think we've come so far
On all our lies we depend
We see no consequence
This is the beginning of the end.

Mothereffing Monday!

2008-06-09T10:36:00.002-04:00

It's about 100 degrees in Philadelphia and due to my superior intelligence, I decided to go for a run. I came back this morning and was on the floor stretching and Seamus thought he would be helpful and lick my face clean. He's such a good boy. I forgot what running in the severe heat felt like - I stopped going to the gym and started running outside again. After a year of paying for the gym, all I got was less reflection time (earphones and watching TV while running), less of a workout (driving to and from the gym eats up serious time, was having very short workouts), and less physical health. Back to basics bitches: I'm going to run outside. And sure enough, two weeks after I started, my favorite pair of jeans fit again after six months. I'm a idiot. Even moreso than when I fell LAST Monday while running and ripped open my knee (which is now scabbed over yet still oozing a mysterious substance). Moving along...
My Mom and John came up for a visit from North Carolina this weekend and everyone went to bed, I decided to drunk text my phone book. Nothing harmful, just pitiful. I spent all of Saturday trying to surreptitiously apologize/explain to my friends that I am just a retard who had too much wine. Some of the responses I got back were interesting though - some friends thought I was distressed (which in hindsight, I was), some thought I was being cute, some were confused...some didn't even know who I was, which was probably more insightful than I wanted.
Sunday, my Mom and Johnny left very early, and since it was 100 degrees out, JR and I ended up waking up at 10:00 a.m. (soooo late for me, I am a sixamer), staring at each other wondering what the eff to do for the day. We decided on lunch and a matinee of Iron Man, which ended up being a pretty good movie. I kind of wanted to see Kung Fu Panda...but he had his hot heart (check out that alliteration) set on Iron Man and after some reflection, did I really want to pay to see a panda do Kung Fu? After further reflection I decided that "fuck yeah, I want to see a panda do Kung Fu" but that can wait until it is available on Netflix.
Anywho...

Cannot Believe It!

2008-05-28T12:02:00.003-04:00

I actually placed a candidate with a breast implant company that I have been attempting to staff for for the longest time. I am so happy, especially because the candidate is ecstactic!

Work has been pretty crazy hectic, moreso recovering from my vacation than volume. Well, volume from not being here...

Memorial Day weekend was very fun! We saw the Indiana Jones movie which was a great action/family flick. We caught a matinee on Saturday and everyone in the theatre was on their best behavior (I sincerely hate going to the movies because there are always disrespectful fools there and I feel like an idiot for spending $10.00 on a damn ticket). We cooked a great dinner and hung out. I'm listening to Disturbed. One of my favorite songs by them is "Enemy." Really good.

Sunday we had guests - JR's mother and stepdad, his grandparents, and my dad. It was a really nice time - burgers, beer, etc. It is exhausting hosting, though (preparation, cooking, etc.). Seamus was on his best behavior. Monday was spent drinking margaritas in the afternoon and eating steak! Unfortunately I then had to balance our budget and that was depressing. I am torn. Do I look for a new job up here? Do I focus just on Wilmington, NC? I have no effing clue, but all I know is that money is way too tight and that fucking sucks. Especially when you bill an eff load of money for your company.

North Carolina was really nice, but too quick. I hung out with my stepsister one night and killed a bottle of Captain Morgan's with her. It was really fun (and hysterical) because I never really get to see her or spend time with her. I barely saw my sister because she is preparing for her marathon. My Mom starts her new job June 2nd so that is exciting.

Tonight is a Phillies game, which will be fun; it is a gorgeous day in Philadelphia. We'll pre-game and BBQ in the parking lot, then go into the park. I think I'm hungry.

Vacation starts NOW!

2008-05-17T08:54:00.004-04:00

Goooood morning world!
Yesterday was so rainy and shitty in Philly that I was going to hurl, I went and got my nails did and they look effing awesome.
Last night was totally date night and it was fantastic. I came home and was feeling gross (had dressed like a bum to work because of the weather), so I took a quick shower and mustered up the courage to put on this great pink shirt from Ann Taylor that was way too tight a few months ago. It fit! It looked awesome! :-D
We went to this western bar called Prospector's - I think I have mentioned that I loathe the wild wild west and cowboys and shit, and if I haven't, I am mentioning it NOW. However, this is one place that is on the approved list, because even though you can't get anything to eat under 8.99 (which irritates me because what if I just wanted some soup and salad? They hit you for 10 motherfucking dollars which I think is insane). Their salad bar is awesome, not THAT awesome though. Moving along...they told us the wait would be 25 minutes so we saunter over the bar, get some beer and are immediately called by the hostess. Overall, great meal, and JR got pulled pork and onion rings so I think he was pleased. Seamus was pleased too, because he got my turkey burger (which also had bacon on it!) :-)~
On our way home, we got onto the topic of having a cocktail, and we ended up at Kitchen 233 (surprise surprise, we both knew we would end up there) and hung out there. They opened up the back patio and I had never been back there; quite lovely! Candles and comfortable seats...got the fabulous Blue Martini to start (Three Olives vodka and house-made bleu cheese stuffed huge effing olives), then had a glass of the Rioja, a Spanish red which was described to me as very dry, but it wasn't; quite delicious all the same...I could taste plum in it...actually it was a great glass of wine for $8.00!
Came home...was feeling tipsy...got laid! All in all, a great night.
Today we are having breakfast with mah daddy, dinner with JR's daddy and step mom, and tomorrow is Stone Temple Pilots!!! Cannot wait. Then, off to Wilmington, NC for four days to see mah mommy!! I rented a car...fuck that noise about being stranded with one car at their house!

Everything after

2008-05-14T09:32:00.002-04:00

So I went up to North Jersey for a wedding this weekend and was actually on very good behavior. I had a nice time excluding the actual length of the reception - the cocktail hour started at 6:30 p.m. and we didn't leave the location until after 1:00 a.m. due to the transports back to the hotel being all messed up. I primarily just drank wine and Bacardi with TONS of water (really makes the difference!) and stuck to the seafood, meat, and salad. I felt great, danced, hopefully looked pretty nice...JR looked very handsome in his new suit.
After the wedding, we drank some more in the hotel (more Bacardi and diet for me) and by 2:30 a.m. I had to bail on the after party (really nice time with my sister-in-law and her boyfriend and my step-brother-in-law and his girlfriend). I was exhausted and knew the next day (Mother's Day) was going to be taxing.
Woke up the next morning, ate some greasy eggs and bacon (freaking awesome) and drove home. Had many cries over not seeing my Mom...so brutal being away from her and my sister. We stopped at my Dad's to see him on the way home to pick up Seamus so that helped. He's such a great Dad and tried to make me feel better, which was so sweet.
Stopped off at JR's Dad's to get Seamus and to wish his Stepmom a Happy Mother's Day.

Man...Mother's Day sucked.

Anyway...work has been not fun and that coupled with missing my Mom and sister has reignited the fire under my ass to get down to North Carolina. I feel really strung along and I truly do not see a future for me here. Which sucks. Because I work my tail off to be productive only to receive NO perks for working here because the company isn't at quota. Sorry folks...people really do work harder when they look forward to going work...not dread it. Ugh.

JR was nice and loving last night; it was really cool. Before we fell asleep he asked me if I needed anything. He hasn't done that in years. I have been sad lately.

Meh...

2008-05-09T06:26:00.001-04:00

Moving along, JR had to work this evening (7:00 p.m. - 12:00 P.M. <---that's right...it was an overnighter). I came home, went to the gym, went food shopping, went tanning, came home and gave Seamus the new meat-basted bone I got him at Wegman's...it was a very uneventful evening, but that is alright. I went to bed at like 11:00 p.m. and slept straight through which was glorious - I don't think I moved.

Today is Friday, and for that I am truly grateful. Work will be very busy, so I know the time will fly. I may be meeting a friend for Happy Hour, but honestly, I want to come home and do laundry and pack for the wedding and get to bed at a reasonable hour. Also, I kind of wanted to go to dinner with JR this evening to relax before the craziness of this weekend. I'm going to get his read on it.

It is DISGUSTING in Philly - there are serious downpours and thunderstorms, and I feel so sad because a police officer was murdered and today is his funeral. It is like God is furious and crying.

It's 12:00 p.m. Do you know where your blog is?

2008-03-05T12:00:00.001-05:00

So, I threw JR a birthday party and it was LOADS of fun. I got very drunk, (surprised?), but I honestly didn't drink THAT much. It was the game of beer pong that did it...and I never see it coming. The house looks great and we are taking two weeks off to enjoy it and each other. This weekend I am getting a massage and a haircut. And I return to the gym tomorrow (that will hurt. very much). I have been intending on going, but I have been exhausted, but tomorrow is it! I am laying the smack down on myself!

Why the fuck...

2008-02-01T14:01:00.000-05:00

...would I want to mobile blog? I mean, I know we are in a highly technological age, but that is ridiculous. I know the world is comprised of people that no longer want to have verbal interaction with others, thus the incessant need to text back and forth all day long...but if I cannot even converse with myself in a state of collection, then where on earth will I be?

P.S. It is really shitty out.

huzzah!

2008-01-25T16:12:00.000-05:00

generic Zelnorm has arrived! i am so fucking excited!! $90.00 later, i am going to start feeling better!!!

New shiz.

2007-12-17T14:16:00.000-05:00

My life has been absolutely chaotic this past week. I was brutally reminded of the depths that people will stoop to simply to continue their own agendas of pain and malice towards people who have done nothing but love them. Am I perfect? Of course not - I don't know anyone who honestly believes they are. When you lie awake at night, you probably think to yourself about what you are going to do the next day to be a good person, productive member of society, loving wife/husband, loyal daughter/son, effective employee, whatever the fuck it is...it probably is NOT how you can cause MORE pain and MORE sorrow and MORE turmoil in a person's life. Especially when that person wants nothing more than to mourn with YOU and be there for YOU after such a horrific, unbelievable, SENSELESS death.
After shock comes tears comes vomiting comes anger comes more tears comes confusion comes anger comes murderous anger comes realization comes recollection comes collection comes focus comes gratitude comes calm. So, there you can see the progression of my emotions in the past week and I think I am moving towards calm. I should be grateful to finally be shutting the door on a part of my life that I was never ready to give up. GIVE UP!!

Life

2007-12-07T13:42:00.001-05:00

- Diagnosed with hypertonic pelvic floor disfunction and anismus yesterday after a horrifically painful procedure yesterday.
- My cousin died yesterday.

Sexual Seduction

2007-12-04T20:36:00.000-05:00

Whoa-ah!

Note to self.

2007-12-01T09:00:00.000-05:00

NO MORE APPLETINIS AFTER TWO PITCHERS OF BEER AND A SHOT OF SOCO.

Today is NOT the greatest day I have ever known...

2007-11-30T16:17:00.000-05:00

We had an intern leave today for various reasons; all of which were avoidable, which is probably the worst part. He was a great guy and wasn't given a fair shot. I'll keep it short and sweet...he was treated like shit, reacted in kind, and that just exacerbated things. I've heard the complaints since Week 1 - he really was not treated properly from the very beginning.
We had a great lunch at Nodding Head...rather...everyone had a great lunch besides me - I had some white beans and a pita...with a few beers...so yes, I did have a great lunch. It was just primarily liquid. Everyone enjoyed their burgers, which was wonderful, but I really wanted to save my MEAL of the day for JR at Ott's for our pitcher and fried mushroom dinner that we do on occasion.
Tomorrow we have some friends coming over for dinner and I was planning on making this crazy dinner but after writing a recipe down of a really easy pasta recipe, I decided to make that instead.
I had a dentist appointment yesterday, and I was very afraid to go because recently, every appointment I have had is to either have a checkup which resulting in the discovery of cavities or to actually have said cavities filled. Wasn't I pleasantly surprised when they cleaned my teeth, said they looked great and they could tell I have been flossing (awkward...haven't been flossing and rarely using Listerine). I was in a good mood because I was picking up pizza from Passariello's and JR was picking on a bottle of wine for us to enjoy. I was even FURTHER surprised when he said he picked up not a magnum of wine, but a BOX of Fish Eye Shiraz which is so tasty. We ate our pizza, watched some football, and I was off to bed.
I am very happy this weekend is here; this week was draining and today was especially sad.

muthafucka.

2007-11-20T13:00:00.000-05:00

Boy, I am irritated today.

One more day!

2007-11-15T14:18:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow we leave for The Chateau to celebrate our ONE YEAR WEDDING ANNIVERSARY! We are staying in the same suite we did on our wedding night and having dinner where we had our reception and going to a wine tasting and getting breakfast in bed and eating pizza at one of our favorite little Italian restaurants (meatball with fresh garlic mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm) and we are going to have so much fun drinking champagne and eating cheese and lounging in the king size bed and enjoying the gigantic bottle of Moet that will be waiting for us after dinner with the box of chocolates from the local candy shop and tons of rose petals and a flat screen plasma TV and leather couches with mirrors on two sides and a bar and a whirlpool bath tub and...and...yeah that's what I am looking forward to!

Saul Williams

2007-11-13T13:14:00.000-05:00

Trent Reznor produced his (Saul Williams') latest record so of course, he was pimping it. I gave it a few spins and it is really effing good, so I have been listening to "WTF" for the past 48 hours. Check it -

I’m fighting every war at once and I’m winning.
You can’t think of me like you did in the beginning…

By the time you hear this song you’ve gone wrong.
Caught in the labyrinths of time, in your mind.
Unlearn. Unwind. But, not to worry, there is no hurry.
“Come unto me”, says She. “You’ve been polluted uprooted by Time. You have been muted, computed, but I’m a living vessel of the One, of the Moon, of the Sun. Come.”

Hey! You ain’t as dead as you seem - what the fuck? Hey! But you keep living your lies. Hey! Your life’s a bore but you dream. Bring yourself to be yourself tonight.

I see evidence in how you hold your head.
And I see evidence in how you say what’s said.
I see it in your eyes, that you’ve been hypnotized.
“You’ve been polluted, uprooted by Time. You have been muted, computed but I’m a living vessel of the One, of the Moon, of the Sun."

Hey! You ain’t as dead as you seem - what the fuck? Hey! But you keep living your lies. Hey! Your life’s a bore but you dream. Bring yourself to be yourself tonight.
Bring yourself to be yourself.

The whole album is very good and I recommend it. I probably like WTF because it is Trent Reznor through the whole thing with Saul Williams saying, "What the fuck" in the background. Still good.

On another note, I met with a surgeon yesterday and the results were not that great; things are not working as they should. I honestly thought he would laugh me out of his office, and after I tried to tell him I was pretty good on Zelnorm, he said that he was sure that helps for the motility stuff, but basically when he was doing the tests on me, my body was doing the exact OPPOSITE of what it is supposed to do when one digests. Now on to the tests to find out why...

Zelnorm

2007-11-07T15:12:00.000-05:00

So it really might happen. I really might be able to get back on the drug that brought me to within 95% of normality. Physically, not mentally before the jokes start.
Since the GI I was seeking down here is clearly not invested in making me feel better and his office staff is a bunch of wenches, I basically called my old doctor who is 1.5 hours away (worth the drive, now that I have tested the water down in Philly...) and said I was more comfortable with him and his method of treatment, i.e., medication versus eating spicy food and SURGERY.
I will consult with the surgeon and see what his thoughts are, but I really think he'll be like, "Thanks for the co-pay, but get out - you don't need surgery. You're just constipated." But I'm going, I'm going, I swear.
This weekend is our nine year anniversary of being together, and since we are throwing ourselves into the lap of luxury next week (more on that some other time), we are going to have a nice dinner on Friday at the little BYO I mentioned a few posts back. Well, very far back...probably like September-ish.
We're having dinner at my Dad's on Saturday and hosting JR's parents (his father this time) on Sunday for dinner. It will be a pretty laid back weekend with enough action not get bored. There is a co-op in our office who I am growing so fond of. I frequently talk/shout to myself and she always has a choice comment, i.e., Me - "Ahhh Britney Spears!" Her - "It's Britney bitch." She doesn't miss a beat. Today on Preston and Steve (local Philly rock morning show) there was a jeweler on talking about what he was donating to a slain police officer's foundation and all of a sudden, there was the sound of a train. Literally, randomly there was a "Choo chooooo" in the middle of this somber soliloquy and I nearly died because Preston asked completely deadpan "Why did a train sound just happen?" And with jeweler, Steven Singer just goes with and says, "Because I'm leaving bye!" or something like that - I was CRYING I was laughing so hard. I need to find that podcast...

STP

2007-11-03T16:13:00.000-04:00

Holy shit have you ever SEEN the video for SexTypeThing by Stone Temple Pilots? HOT. Back to cleaning. Going to see the in-laws tomorrow which will be nice. Went to Ott's last night for a few pitchers which was nice. Tonight I am making homemade Monk burgers (from the restaurant Monk's in Philadelphia - burger, carmelized leeks, bleu cheese...fucking delicious) which will be nice. And that's about it.
www.monkscafe.com

Oh yes...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-s3lmr09oVg

The spoon thing again...

2007-11-01T14:30:00.000-04:00

I almost walked right into using the soup spoon that causes me to cut the sides of my mouth, but I realized as the spoon was approaching my lips what kind of spoon I was using, and due to some quick thinking, I reached into my drawer and pulled out a regular teaspoon and commenced enjoying my chicken broth.
Oh yes, it is also one of those liquid diet days because I think my guts are on fire.

First post of November! November is so much cooler than October! I simply don't like things that begin with the letter "O". Unless it is oysters...or orange juice...or...wow...not many tasty things begin with "O"...wait, favorite "O" ever is orgasm! Yowzah! Or OktoberFEST (it's the "k" and "fest" that set it so far apart from plain old October). Oh Jesus you should hear the sounds my organs are making over this damn soup.

Happy Halloween

2007-10-31T11:47:00.000-04:00

Okay, I was feeling crappy already this morning, then I go and eat 20 pieces of candy corn - you know as well as I do, that this is WAY too much. I have set myself up for a shit afternoon.
Moving along. I had dinner with my mentor last night at the Union League - it's a members only place and the food was very good. It was great to see Len - he is now the CFO/COO of an audit company and it sounds like he is gutting the place. If his changes are successful, which they probably will be because of his background, his new company could really take off; I think he'll be the next CEO even though he says he doesn't care about that - he just wants to get paid! Now you know where I get it from!
The doctors appointment on Friday went mediocre at best - I can probably get Zelnorm (hooray!) and Novartis will have to pay for it (double hooray!) however my doctor wants me to have a procedure done to make sure there isn't a problem with my pelvic floor. I would rather not go through this, but JR is insisting, considering if it is a surgical problem, I can be fixed and done with this nonsense. I have to call my doctor today to see what the deal is with Zelnorm, because I want to get that ball rolling like NOW.
So the little rodents will be knocking on my door this evening looking for candy, and I would much rather act as though I am not home, but JR is insisting. Law and Order will be on, so I'll sit and watch that and wait for the kiddies. He has grad school work to do, so I got handed the role of candy giver. Noooo!

.

2007-10-24T14:13:00.001-04:00

I. hate. feeling. like. this.

The Eff Word.

2007-10-23T13:50:00.000-04:00

I have noticed I have used it frequently over the past few weeks.
So, I finally heard back from my doctor today, rather, the nurse today regarding my tests. She went into the whole spiel of me not completing the test (whole pill/X-ray/leaving me in a hallway fiasco) and I promptly cut her off - I was basically like, "Bitch, I spoke with Dr. K., that's what he wanted, so now what the fuck am I supposed to do? What about my bloodwork?"
The dirty whore said she couldn't tell me and I had to come in. Come in?? Just tell me what the damn results were, and THEN if Dr. K. wants to see me, I will gladly schedule a visit and you will get your $30.00 co-pay, I promise. Nope. I have to go in on Friday, which essentially ruins my day at work, on one of the busiest days of the week. FUCK. Seriously, the nurses at this office are so insensitive - I overheard them mocking an old woman who apparently calls frequently because she has the runs. I also overheard my doctor telling them to shut up, so that is why I stayed.
We're still working on the whole relocation thing; my job is doing so much to make the transition seamless, which is great and JR seems to have some leads on virtual jobs within his organization. I also talked/emailed JR today and essentially said that I am sick of our money situation - we make so much freaking money but it feels like we live paycheck to paycheck! He seemed to see my perspective, and seems to be on board with getting a nice townhouse in Wilmington, NC - the awesome three bedroom/two bath down the street from my Mom is 209k - if we were able to BREAK EVEN on our house up here, we would have a serious down payment. Not to mention a much smaller mortgage payment. And way cheaper taxes. Oh God...I am lusting after moving down there so badly.
So...watched Ocean's 12 last night and all I can say is that is one zexy cast!!

I dare you. I double dare you, motherfucker. Say "what" one more goddamn time.

2007-10-22T13:46:00.000-04:00

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
I effing love that movie.
Anyway, this weekend was spent all on my lonesome, due to JR and Seamus going to the Poconos. It was okay with me though; I laid some flooring in the sunroom (big day on Saturday...had to lay some flooring) and cleaned the house thoroughly. Somehow, I still didn't get all of the laundry done, but fuck it.
My guts are killing me and I am waiting for my doctor to call me back about what the next course of action should be. I switched back to a no-carb diet because I was able to function a little bit better, but it sucks because I think we're having cake today for someone's birthday. If I could just get Zelnorm, this topic would be effing moot.
So I missed Seamus terribly - he was exhausted when he came home last night because he spent the weekend running and swimming, so he walked in and just wandered around for a couple of minutes (I think he had slept the entire three hour car ride). I love him so much and he seemed really happy to be around me; he kept coming up and standing next to me so I could rub his back. There is just a certain type of attention that you can't get from your dad - and that is cuddles from mom!!! Lame...sorry...I just missed him.
Anyway, nothing big is going on this week. Just working away. Not too exciting. When I have someone of quality to write about I'll let you know. Also, I am so fucking irritated with work because apparently some drama went down between some of my colleagues so now every other minute people are bitching left and right. What is this? Seventh grade? I was done with this shit in 1997. WEAK.

Painful spoons.

2007-10-16T13:46:00.000-04:00

I hate it when you eat soup with one of those plastic soup spoons. They are too wide and they cut the sides of my mouth. But it was good soup, so I will keep my complaining to a minimum. I had half a turkey sandwich for lunch - it was also very good, and my body does not appear to be rejecting it. It was eight freaking dollars for lunch today, but I only ever eat 1/2 of the sandwich because they are so big. Lunch tomorrow!
I have to bill 50k in one month. I have no idea how I am going to do it. My pipeline for 2008 looks awesome, but that doesn't help me NOW for 2007 commission. Ugh.
This weekend was great - we went to Happy Hour on Friday and it was really fun. On Saturday, we rode all over creation - we had to pick up an exhaust system for JR's car in Pottstown, PA (1 hour away from us, don't ever go there) and then return JR's brother's pickup truck (1/2 hour in the opposite direction from our house.) The day was pretty much spent in the car, but it was a nice day in the car, and it was also really nice just going for a ride with JR. Saturday night we went to HOOTERS and it was awesome - two pitchers and 20 wings later, we were ready to go though, because it was really busy and one of the waitresses broke down in tears because someone was giving her shit. Clearly they were short staffed - everyone in the restaurant heard her say that - we just ordered as soon as she came over and left her alone. People are such dicks.
Sunday was good - woke up feeling pretty hungover which was odd, but I made it to Wegman's for some bagels, lox, and various other shopping items I needed so I could entertain our friend for dinner. JR had to go in for a few hours after breakfast for work, so Moo and I went back to bed for that period. I woke up feeling much better and much more capable of attending to laundry, cooking, and cleaning.
Yesterday was HORRENDOUS. I had to have X-rays and tests done - bottom line, the Radiology place sat me in the hallway in a gown while old men shuffled past me and ogled me. They LEFT me there - the Radiologist did not agree with the test my doctor wanted done - (supposed to take a pill, then X-ray five days later to find out where it is) - the Radiologist wanted me to KEEP COMING BACK until the pill left my system. I call my doctor and he's like "What? They are supposed to do the tests I WANT." So we're square. And I'm humiliated. But what else is new. Hopefully the results of everything will come back in a few days and we can figure out the next course of action. To make matters worse, I felt awful yesterday, and had to take a Perc just to get some sleep.
Last night was nice - just reheated Sunday's dinner and relaxed with JR. He's so wonderful.
This morning was more fun - Seamus woke up at 5:00 a.m. to throw up - JR doesn't do so well with vomit, so I cleaned it up - I am just thankful I didn't step in it. It was the color of the wood floor - ew!

Losing it.

2007-10-11T13:21:00.000-04:00

I think that it just took me entirely too long to write this sentence. I haven't even TAKEN a percocet and I feel really out of it. Today is one of those days when I feel awful and want to crawl into a hole and die. I rescheduled my X-Ray for Monday to see where the little plastic pill and its contents ended up. Then I have to get bloodwork done to see why my absorption is all effed up. I really hate this, but I just found out about two people who had cancer and had to have major major surgery - I don't have it so bad.
I'm tired. I have been so unbelievably tired - I cannot get out of bed in the morning. The thought of going to the gym exhausts me. I know I am in a rut because I haven't been feeling well. The weekends are heaven, but I find even when I am just tooling around, cleaning the house or going grocery shopping, I have to go lay down. Literally, each day during the weekend JR looks at me and says, "Why don't you go lie down?"
Now I am just bitching. But this is really hard. I pull myself together for work and when I am around JR because who wants someone who is always complaining about not feeling well? I wouldn't want me around. I miss my dog.

Stolen burger.

2007-10-08T13:30:00.000-04:00

That's right. I got a burger from Good Dog (local Philly beer and burger place - voted Philly's best burger) with my good friend Stef on Friday because I really needed...you guessed it...a beer and a burger. So, 10 effing dollars later, I have this glorious burger. There was absolutely no way I could eat the whole thing, so I took the other half back to work and thought, Monday I will be so happy, because I'll have a Good Dog burger.
SOMEBODY THREW IT AWAY! There has been shit in the fridge for weeks...literally...and someone threw my 2 day old burger away. WTF?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!??? I'm really pissed. I'm actually feeling pretty good today, which makes me even madder. So, I got a Lean Pocket (270 calories, pretty good size, not too bad tasting) which doesn't make it any better, but at least I got my meat-n-cheese fix.
I saw Knocked Up this weekend - it was hysterical (if completely misleading...you KNOW when you have had sex without a condom...you know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying?) and a nice date movie. I made chicken parm last night and it came out pretty good. I made my own sauce, and JR took the leftovers today. I wonder if it got better.
Moving along, work is going well, hopefully some more placements will arise. I'm making meatloaf tonight. My dad is coming over for dinner tomorrow night, and I have no idea what the eff I will cook. JR did a lot of work on the house this weekend, which was great - unlike the wiring, you can actually see the results of what he has done, so the nagging wife in me shuts up. I pulled up the hideous carpet out in the sun room, and it actually looks BETTER with just the plywood floor. We got some tiles for out there, and I think it will look 10000% better when I finish it next weekend.
Murder by Numbers from The Police is on. This is my least favorite Police song, and 104.5 insists on playing it daily. Oh no...I just burped and it smelled like Philly Cheese Steak Lean Pocket...this is going to be a long afternoon.

You can fuck right off.

2007-10-02T13:13:00.000-04:00

I pulled the plug on the whole position open in Wilmington - they no-showed on a phone conference that was set up, barely apologized, and then expected me to extend an pre-existing appointment with them for today so I can have the opportunity to talk to the people who blew me off on Friday. Right. I was supposed to call in at noon, but when I got the email after my staff meeting today saying that the appointment will now be one hour, I had had it. I sent an email (because clearly no one knows how to pick up the phone...) and "I'm withdrawing from the process, best of luck in your search."
Of course my Mom is all bummed because if I had taken the position, I would have come down immediately, but I would also want to shoot myself because their behavior is the exact reason I left Lockheed Martin - no one is accountable and everyone is incompetent. I mean, really, three phone interviews to ask me the same questions? And then to NO SHOW on a conference call? That was so unbelievable rude - especially when my point of contact said in the email, "Jeff left you a voicemail." Oh, um, I'm sorry...what part of PROCEDURE, FRIDAY AFTERNOON, and COMPLETELY UNAVAILABLE didn't you get? I may be young, but I refuse to be pushed around. If this is how they treat people they are courting (i.e., enticing to join their company), imagine how they treat their employees - NO THANK YOU!!!
On another note, referencing the above procedure - it was nothing major on Friday - just making sure no crazy problems...but I have been feeling horrendous and didn't go to work yesterday because my stomach was twisting so severely. Today is a little better, but I am exhausted and feeling pukish (my new term for nauseous...like it?). I really need to get more placements...like ASAP so I can get some commission dollars - I need to pay off that credit card...carrying like (eek!) 1k on that, and of course, there is always Moo and his hips, the house, JR and his hips. I just want to die.

Some people hate freedom of speech.

2007-09-27T16:26:00.000-04:00

There's something that has been bothering me. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad comes to America, and is invited to speak at Columbia. The magnitude of people wanting him to be silenced was substantial and it made me think.
We are now a society that wants to pick and choose when we are allowed to utilize our rights. Now, Mahmoud is not an American citizen and is not afforded these rights, but our citizens' reactions were frightening. As soon as someone says something we don't like, we immediately want to silence it. Whether it is construction workers whistling in public, Ward Churchill making cruel metaphors, or rappers singing about their bitches.
Ultimately, I have found that I have become less and less offended by peoples' words due to the fact that I have realized that EVERYTHING can be offensive to EVERYONE. I don't like it when I hear about the Fairmont Park rapist. Don't like it at all. It gives me nightmares. I should stop Fox 29 from reporting the 315th murder in Philadelphia, too, because it scares me.
I don't like Dane Cook's voice. He bothers me. I am going to sue over the horrendous baseball playoffs commercials using him.
And I don't like it when Rachel Ray says EVOO.
Once you realize that peoples' words are just...words, it's easy to move on. It hurt when people chased me around the school yard and called me a Nazi fool in grade school because I had a REALLY German maiden name. But, I had the right to call him a douchebag. Or I had the right to walk (er...run) away and ask God to damn him to hell. See? It all works out.

Hump

2007-09-26T17:12:00.000-04:00

So, Fall arrives, and we have the hottest effing day of the month. I mean really. 90 degree? It's the end of September folks. I'm ready for a sweater.
House premiered last night and it was freaking awesome - I seriously love that show, and it is rare for me so consistently follow a show. I stumbled onto it when I was a resident assistant over one holiday break a few years ago and still on co-op (read: I did not get any "Winter Vacations" in college...weak). I was studying for, get this, my GMAT so I could complete my acceptance into Drexel's MBA program...as I am sure you can tell, my life has taken a slightly different route.
That whole sigmoidoscopy thing is commencing on Friday - brand new doctor...so I'm going to say, "Hi Doctor K., so nice to meet you...how the ol' colon looking??" AWKWARD.
My dog ate the fucking front mat AGAIN. We went through like 10, he ate them all, then we found one that he liked, and now...ONE YEAR LATER...he eats the motherfucker.
Then he looks at JR and wants a piece of bread...like we're going to give you bread when you have a belly full of fucking welcome mat. For fuck's sake, Moo.

Badda Bing

2007-09-25T17:06:00.000-04:00

The President of my company gave me VIP tickets to the Devils, Flyers game last night - open bar and free food in a Club Box - very cool, and the Devils won. Top that Fooladelphia.
I asked about the whole going virtual thing - it was met with shock and they need to think about how it could work - I really want to stay and I hope they will give me a chance.
I had a ham and cheese sammich for lunch, and it actually made my stomach feel BETTER. Go figure. Have I mentioned my guts are bleeding? I just missed the call from the GI...I should check the voicemail.
Now they want me to have a sigmoidoscopy - not in the mood for a butt raping tomorrow! UGH. I can't tomorrow - way too much going on!
I tried calling back, but I don't even have the option of dialing the nurse's extension - I hope she calls me again - I need to say I CAN'T!!!
Anyway...
Making beef and biscuit skillet tonight...I am eating damnit.

Exhausted

2007-09-21T11:57:00.000-04:00

Hallo. This week I have been working on a major expansion for yet another Plastic Surgery/Aesthetic company. The fee was cut, so now I am working for an even *smaller* commission check - hooray! And I get to work twice as hard because they want everything now! Double hooray!
Last night was awesome - JR had mentioned wanting Pizza Hut at some point last week and I really
didn't feel like cooking last night so we got...you guessed it...PIZZA HUT! So delicious and I could easily eat five slices...I ate two and called it a night. It's 90% air, which is probably why I never feel full. It was 2$ pint night at Charlie Brown's and we went - got some Guinness and snacked on some Chex-Mix type stuff for, get this. eight freaking dollars. Such a deal.
We went home, watched some Reservoir Dogs for like, a minute, and then went up to bed. I slept great until 1:00 a.m., but then tossed and turned for two hours, fell back asleep for a little while, then woke up with the same damn stomach cramps. They have definitely mellowed, and I hope I can enjoy date night tonight with JR.
Going to see Resident Evil tonight and I could not be more stoked - we're probably going to dinner at Tutti Toscani (an incredibly cheap BYO really close to our house with incredible food and service). I have to spend the afternoon recruiting, which is fine, but I'd really like to get more resumes out. I have two to go out now, so we'll see what the rest of the day brings.
Tomorrow is our friends' housewarming party and I am actually looking forward to it - I have been laying SO low since I got sick, so it will be nice to have a little human interaction and be up and around. JR's mom had to put her dog to sleep the other day and, understandably so, is very upset. I invited her and JR's stepdad to come down for a visit on Sunday to hang out but haven't heard anything. I hope they come down. But if not, I'll be just as happy relaxing with a pint and some baseball.
JR's grandmother is not doing well - she has always been a sharp lady but has had serious heart trouble throughout the years, recently ending up in the hospital for congenital heart failure and her lungs filled up with fluid. The doctors released her after like, A day, and put her on a million medications. I was in the hospital for like FIVE days with my nightmare, and I definitely wasn't having heart failure. So, I have been really concerned about her since that ordeal, but what is worse is that I received an email explaining how it appears she has suffered from acute memory loss. The family seems to think it is the medication, but honestly, and I hate to sound like a know-it-all, but I WORK in the pharma/medical device industry - I know of not a single drug or combo that would cause such acute memory loss. I am afraid she has suffered a small stroke or had an embolism. Ugh. I have never had to suffer through aging grandparents, which is both a blessing and a curse. JR seems to be aware that his grandparents are all aging, but he has always had them in his life, and I don't know how the loss of one will affect him or his family.
Moving on to merrier things, I am going to make myself a Lean Cuisine and pray the day flies by.

Tattooooosday

2007-09-18T16:30:00.000-04:00

I really want a tattoo on my side and I think I am just going to demand one now. Despite JR thinking it's trashy. I still don't understand his mentality; I am just as baffled by his belief that shirts that tie in the back are slutty. He is so WEIRD sometimes.
Today has been the best I have felt yet. So, I am really really happy and grateful. My stomach is still way sore if you touch it, but while I am just sitting here, the pain is TOTALLY bearable. I'm making dinner tonight - this chicken bruschetta thing that JR made up a while ago - fresh tomatoes, purple onions, fresh garlic, fresh basil, a little olive oil, a splash of basalmic vinegar, and mix it all together. Let it hang out in a bowl at room temperature while you grill the chicken. Throw the chicken in a Pyrex and cover it with the bruschetta and let it roast in the oven for like 20 minutes - 25 minutes until the tomatoes start to fall apart. Forgot the best part - put a slice of mozzarella cheese on top of each chicken breast, THEN top with the bruschetta THEN roast. While that's cooking, make some angel hair or thin spaghetti, and get a plate! So delicious. He's a talented boy.
I have been wearing a new perfume, Eternity Moment by Calvin Klein and the jury is still out. Sometimes it smells great, other times not so much. I always buy the little sample bottle and wear the scent for like a week or two to see how I, hubby, and friends react. So far, it has been positive.

What a weekend.

2007-09-17T13:22:00.000-04:00

JR was kind enough to take me out for that pint on Friday, and we had a really long, nice conversation about life in general. Saturday was AWESOME. JR had seen an advertisement in the town circular about a tour at the Fly Fish Brewery. It was free and included free samples. I swear, they wanted us to drink all afternoon. It was such a fun afternoon and we were able to bring Seamus (just for a visit, he couldn't go back where the distillers were.) It turns out, we live like 1 mile from the brewery, so we brought him home and came back for more beer and the tour. I had made waffles for breakfast, and my stomach had stayed settled, so we were able to enjoy the entire afternoon. We finished up around 3:30 p.m., and the tour guide mentioned an open house at a wine making place called The Wine Room. It turns out, that was right around the corner from Flying Fish, so off we went to try some tasty homemade local wine. Not only was there a huge selection to sample, there was a whole spread of food (which was good, because all I had had was ONE waffle followed by about three beers at Flying Fish). We sampled some wine, ate some cheese and tapenade, and off to home we went. It was such a nice afternoon, and my stomach was agreeable through the whole thing.
Sunday, not so much. I was probably paying for all of the decadence from Saturday. I didn't sleep well and after breakfast, I went back to bed until like 1:00 p.m. Then I got up and finished removing the wallpaper in the kitchen. We unpacked the china which opened up a ton of room in one of the closets and now I will be much more inclined to use it knowing it is easily accessible and clean.
Work sucks today. I have nothing fun to work on and again, running to the bathroom every 1/2 hour or so. LAME!

Just to clarify...

2007-09-14T16:27:00.001-04:00

Sorry about the earlier post - I was feeling really horrible this morning. I just woke up from a nap and am feeling much better.
I have a candidate going on a final for a big ass fee, and I have a lead on a Corporate Recruiter job in Wilmington paying 65k. BA-zing!
I have to go convince JR to take me out for a pint. My poor empty tum tum needs something in it.

OMGOMGOMGOMG

2007-09-14T09:29:00.000-04:00

i want to light myself on fire.

Everything has changed.

2007-09-11T12:21:00.000-04:00

I am back from the damn hospital, thank the Good Lord. I made three placements during the time I was gone, through today, but lost one, unfortunately, so I just about broke even.
So. Saturday night/Sunday morning, I'm sleeping over at a friend's house because there was a party (it was a family party, not one of those parties, so I wasn't hammered or anything, I put myself to bed at 11:00 p.m. because I was just tired). I wake up at about 2:00 a.m. and proceed to EXPLODE in the bathroom for the next three hours. Then the severe stomach cramps happened. Then it got to the point where we had to LEAVE Lansdale, PA to get back to Jersey (easily a 45 minute ride) so we could get me to a hospital and get Moo home. The next four days are a blur. I just remember pain, crying, and a really swollen stomach. Oh, and giving myself baths in the sink because I refused to be smelly.
What was it? Apparently a really horrific infection in my stomach. When you are just chilling out, healthy and happy, your "swollen" rate of your body is 0.5. I was an eight. A fucking eight. My guts were more than 8x more swollen then they should have been. So, I was introduced to intravenous drugs and the horrors of a hospital. I had really nice nurses who took great care of me, but it is so lonely in the hospital. I faked feeling better because my Mom came up from Wilmington, NC and I just wanted to go HOME. I'm really am feeling better and better everyday, but I am just so tired and my stomach keeps swelling out at night. I also have had the runs (I know...TMI) since yesterday which is making me a tad bit concerned. It stopped by last night, but all I have had since then is a small bowel of really bland cereal (but still tasty!) and a small bowl of soup. We'll see. I was so hot last night but my temperature would not go above like 95.9. Doctor on Thursday, and I'm sure they'll say "You're just fine!!!". More missed work for more bullshit.
Anyway, my Mom came up from North Carolina and took unbelievably good care of myself and JR. I'm talking, scrubbing the bathrooms, doing all of the laundry, cooking, cleaning more, ironing...it was so kind of her.
Here's the bombshell (not that it matters, because no one reads this shit anyway). We're moving to Wilmington, NC. Like actively searching for a new job. Like actively looking at real estate. I've had a couple of bites and I have to call a recruiter this afternoon (after the boss goes out to lunch, see) about a Corporate Recruiter position down there. If I could get a job that pays 60k, I am SO out of here. JR's resume is really impressive and I think he'll get something really great down there. Unfortunately, one of us will probably have to go down there earlier if a job pops up sooner than later. I'm excited, scared, anxious, and perplexed - there are so many moving parts in relocating. We absolutely MUST sell the house or at least rent it before we buy anything down there. It's great because no real estate is moving down there, but NOTHING is moving up here either.
It would be so nice to move into a brand new house in my Mom's really nice development and not have to worry about fixing something for at LEAST two years (feels like we're fixing something every two minutes in the beast we have now.) I would love to move down there tomorrow - it is so pretty, friendly, warmer (already told JR I would fly him to Utah in the winter so he could snowboard - not like I would need a vacation if we get down there - it gets cold, but not THAT fucking cold!).
We keep calling Seamus the North Carolina puppy and he just stares at us like, "I love you. Can I have a snack?" If you want to talk about an angel, it would definitely be him. He was so incredibly well-behaved (only one incident involving Shout wipes, but nothing major) and I was so grateful.
This weekend will be a few trips to home depot to start working on the house hardcore. It would be sweet if we could flip it for like 270k (purchased for 249k including 8k in closing costs...I know...bullshit). If we could make a nice little profit, we could go down there and get something so nice.

1 Day Left and Green Tea

2007-08-29T13:25:00.000-04:00

One day left a work - very nice. I'm drinking green tea, and it really does not taste that good. I'm actually an Oolong, Prince of Wales, or Lipton gal myself, but I guess this will do.
Tonight the Mets are playing the Phillies in Philadelphia, but I could not get JR to go (most bizarre). I thought it would be a fun time to break up the short week. Oh well.
I think I am officially in a funk, and I am not sure what to do about it. I have been feeling pretty terrible this week because of my stomach, and I am hoping I start feeling normal by this weekend. If anyone has ever heard of someone surviving a GI tract transplant, please let me know. Last night, I was up literally ALL night because my stomach hurt so bad. It calmed down around 5:00 a.m., and when I woke up it was a little better. Now that I have been sitting at work I just want to die. I haven't had much of an appetite for the past three days and the pain in my left abdomen has really been incredible.
Moving on to fun things. Seamus went swimming at the dog park yesterday and had a blast = he was exhausted!!! We're going to a party this weekend where there is a HUGE yard - I know he'll have fun running around. We eat crabs and smoke cigars all night so I am looking forward to it.

Eff Day

2007-08-24T10:08:00.000-04:00

The day has come! The week is over! Our checking account is full of money again! Schwing!!!
Anyway, it has come to my attention that we can go to Don Pablo's (a Mexican food chain...I know...ewwww...Mexican food chain...but it's really tasty and what do I care. I'm not Mexican. You reply here, "You're not Mexican?" hahahahahaha) and get a Pablorita (house margarita) for not the typical happy hour price of $5.00 (they're freaking huge), but for the incredibly generous price of $2.99. That is awesome, so we're going, considering I get out at 3:00 p.m., JR gets out at 4:00 p.m., it takes me 30 minutes to get home from Philadelphia...it is like these margaritas were MEANT to BE.
This weekend is supposed to be hot as balls in Philadelphia - feeling like 105 degrees with 100% humidity...greaaat. Nothing much planned for this weekend, which I feel is a good thing, as I have truly been exhausted for several weeks now. I know I'm not helping the situation but last weekend, and I'm sure this weekend will be really nice to relax. I just have some crappy wallpaper to finish removing from the kitchen, then on to paint.
I love Seamus. He has been so sweet lately. He smells like a foot again, though. Maybe we should take him to the dermatologist because he has been so smelly, despite baths. Do they make dog dermatologists? Did that sweater have buttons? hahahahahaha
Alright, I'm going to be mildly productive today and get some work done. I have figured out the Link thing, so you can check out hubby's blog - I've Got This Anger In Me (he's a really angry Conservative...with every right to be...our government is very spooky right now).

I EFFING LOVE THIS SONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Dashboard by Modest Mouse. It is such an awesome song (you need to listen to it a few times).

Much better.

2007-08-22T11:26:00.000-04:00

So, last night I went home and made myself a huge pasta dish, which made me feel much better. It has been raining in Philadelphia since Sunday, and I seriously want to cry. If the sun doesn't come out tomorrow, I don't know if I will get out of bed (let alone get to the gym...yeesh!).
Deepak thinks he broke his leg at the concert...he may have...he took us all out a few times when he fell...my back and hips are still freaking killing me.
Republica just came on the radio. Do you remember them? Baby I'm standing on the roof top, shouting out, baby I'm ready to goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
Anyway, today is much busier than yesterday, which is good. Seamus has been stepping on the vent next to the back door and has somehow been getting his nail/paw stuck in the slats. This morning it happening again and we felt so awful. After we get paid (less than 24 hours, thank the Good Lord), we'll head to Home Depot to get a new covering.
Alrighty, that's all from here in beautiful Philadelphia.