I am really sore

Like someone beat the shit out of me. I mean, I'm sure it was in a good way. But ouch.

You have to go to this website.

I suddenly feel so, so much better about myself and anything my drunken antics have caused.

http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/

Preview:
(504): dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
(985): doesn't he have a girlfriend???
(504): yeah...who do you think woke us up...

I'm Wolverine.

Or something akin to him because I SHREDDED my palm on the cling wrap razor last night and now it is almost completely healed.
Unreal.
It hurt like a mother this morning and I honestly didn't notice it again until just now because it has that "I'm just about done healing" purplish/pinkish look to it.

My husband is still...

...a Mets fan. Probably for the same reason I am a Yankees fan.
We're masochists. Ha.

What to do when you are confronted with an ugly baby?

Seriously. I have no idea how to hide my revulsion and slowly back away before I am handed a damp, pureed pee-smelling baby.
My response of late to the ugly baby presentation has been a surprised "OH!" which I feel can be camoflaged to appear to be delight.
Outside of that, I am at a loss.
What is more perplexing, is that people will build the kid up, i.e., "He is the cutest baby," "I've never seen a sweeter baby," "YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE IT." Right. Imagine my surprise (see above) when the baby is FUGLY.

My dog...

Woke me up at 4:00 a.m. And I have been working. Even though I have the day off. FML.

I'm having a reaction to platinum.

So, about two months after I got married, my ring finger started swelling and turning red with itching. I associated it with vodka consumption and thought nothing of it.
Since my wedding, I have gained about 10 pounds (working it off...like 5 more to go...sheesh) so I also assumed that had something to do with it (my husband has gain THIRTY pounds and his ring still fits...life is so unfair).
So, as I have been working out, my ring has been fitting better, I have been avoiding vodka.
But - my left ring finger continues to get very hot, itchy, and rashy with little blisters on it when I wear my ring. I begin to fear I have an allergy. I tell my husband and of course he is furious because the cost of the ring is atrocious. So, I kind of forget about it, but lately it has been fitting, but alas very itchy and gross. I haven't worn my ring since like Friday because I was doing yardwork, and while it has fit every morning, each time I slide it on, I instantly can feel it getting tight on my finger and irritating.
This morning after the gym, I look down and see a small blister on the side of my finger. MOTHERFUCKER. And it is slighty itchy - like - my finger itches INSIDE.
At work I decide to Google "effing platinum allergy?" and sure enough...HOARDES of people with the same exact symptoms as mee. So I am going to...let me find the paper...
1. Soak my rings overnight in 2-parts distilled white vinegar, 1-part hydrogen peroxide.
2. Boil my rings for 15 minutes
3. Apply an anti-fungal cream to my finger

According to the website I was on, some people were fine with just the soak or just the soak and boil, or all three. This better fucking work. I love my rings and am so effing annoyed that I can't wear them!