Thursday, March 26, 2009
Friday, March 20, 2009
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Sandwiches
I have begun a love affair with sandwiches.
Preferred is turkey on either a kaiser roll or white bread with a little bit of mayo (I fear mayo in large quantities - a side effect of growing up with a mother who was always on Weight Watchers. Mayo is somewhere in between Hitler and Lucifer) plus salt and pepper.
Second is roast beef with cheddar or something akin to cheddar.
Not a huge "salad" fan (ahh probably because there is so much mayo in it - I love making connections) - egg salad, tuna salad, chicken salad however while at the local deli the other day, someone got an egg salad sandwich and I was weirdly attracted to it.
Shut up - I'd fuck many things, but most certainly NOT an egg salad sandwich.
I am also a fan of the warm sandwich ala panini-style in the form of a Cuban sandwich or something like what I had today with roast beef, provolone, and some orange-colored aioli. It was insanely good.
The problem with paninis is that they will ultimately cut the roof of your mouth. Remember how you felt when you ate Captain Crunch? This pain is so much more worth it than Captain Crunch was. I personally was a Kix person.
Preferred is turkey on either a kaiser roll or white bread with a little bit of mayo (I fear mayo in large quantities - a side effect of growing up with a mother who was always on Weight Watchers. Mayo is somewhere in between Hitler and Lucifer) plus salt and pepper.
Second is roast beef with cheddar or something akin to cheddar.
Not a huge "salad" fan (ahh probably because there is so much mayo in it - I love making connections) - egg salad, tuna salad, chicken salad however while at the local deli the other day, someone got an egg salad sandwich and I was weirdly attracted to it.
Shut up - I'd fuck many things, but most certainly NOT an egg salad sandwich.
I am also a fan of the warm sandwich ala panini-style in the form of a Cuban sandwich or something like what I had today with roast beef, provolone, and some orange-colored aioli. It was insanely good.
The problem with paninis is that they will ultimately cut the roof of your mouth. Remember how you felt when you ate Captain Crunch? This pain is so much more worth it than Captain Crunch was. I personally was a Kix person.
Monday, March 16, 2009
Friday, March 13, 2009
Reverse Ageism?
In my line of work, because I am third party, I can kind of practice ageism if say, the hiring manager is 48, I know I can't send someone older than him. It just is WEIRD and unspoken.
I cannot blatantly put on job boards "If you graduated college before 1995, please don't apply" which would make my life EXCEEDINGLY simple.
Point - I put all of the requirements for what I am working on - completely objective stuff such as:
- 2-4 years of medical sales experience, current (TRANSLATION: THIS MEANS NOT YOU ASSHOLE: IF YOU THOUGHT YOU'D GET AN EASY GIG AS A REALTOR AND ARE NOW CLAMBERING BACK INTO THE INDUSTRY. Everyone you KNEW in 2001 has converted to someone else's products so JOG ON! I can't make a fee off you you!)
- Bachelor's Degree
- Documented track record of success, i.e., President's Club, Top 10% ranking in sales force CONSISTENTLY (not when you were selling copiers in 1999, but like, throughout your career which means you are a legit sales rep)
So, there may be a great candidate that applies, but is, oh, 10 years too old for the manager I am working for. I ignore. They keep applying and applying...then they start calling. See, our contact information is NEVER on job postings because our industry is TRULY a "Don't call us, we'll call you" space. Being in such a small shop, I don't have the luxury of taking every single call of a pharmaceutical rep that sees my posting and despite have NONE of the required experience, is "PERFECT FOR THE JOB!" "Get me in front of the hiring manager and I'll make sure you get your fee!" No fuckhead, if I send your resume, which is the exact OPPOSITE of what my client wants, they'll tell ME to jog on, and I'll be out a client because they would think I am incompetent. Which I most certainly would look like. So, I, unlike these people who stalk me, will follow the instructions of the person I am trying to impress (see: CLIENT).
Ahem, NO PHONE CALLS MEANS NO FUCKING PHONE CALLS. How can I expect to represent you if you don't follow one fucking simple request?
Got waaaay off topic there, but seriously. "I'm a candidate, I'm your product, I'm the reason you make money. You should take my call" "No, you're not. For every 100 candidates I speak to a day, I may place, on average, .50 of you, maybe .75 of you."
Here is my point. I can't blatantly say, "Dude, you're too old for this, I'll get in trouble for sending you" and that being that, I have to dance and dodge and say "Wellllll...I know you have everything they are looking for...but you weren't selected for an interview...because...urm...someone had more experience?" Only to place a kid 10 years that candidate's junior, and the candidate knows I am full of shit once they run into them in the field.
Side note: I am full of shit most of the time. I try not to be, but I'm a recruiter. Clients tell me one thing, I go out and pitch the job, find candidate, only to learn 1. job is on hold, 2. whoops! had a completely unqualified internal referral, 3. hmmm now I think I want people with "x" experience as opposed to "y" - please start over, 4. silence from client, 5. the position is paying 50k less.
Let's be fair: I am not intentionally full of shit.
But my point is this:
Our Constitution says, "No person … shall be eligible to the office of president who has not attained to the age of 35."
How the fuck am I supposed to not practice ageism when ageism is a REQUIREMENT to attain the presidency? The most important fucking job in the country (possibly the world, depending on who you speak to) demands that only a certain age is allowed. I wonder what happens at 35 to qualify you. I know that as a woman, that is supposed to be our sexual peak. Perhaps I'd fuck my way to world peace?
Well, only a certain age is allowed to sell my clients' products. And my clients' products are a MUCH smaller deal than being the leader of the free world.
I cannot blatantly put on job boards "If you graduated college before 1995, please don't apply" which would make my life EXCEEDINGLY simple.
Point - I put all of the requirements for what I am working on - completely objective stuff such as:
- 2-4 years of medical sales experience, current (TRANSLATION: THIS MEANS NOT YOU ASSHOLE: IF YOU THOUGHT YOU'D GET AN EASY GIG AS A REALTOR AND ARE NOW CLAMBERING BACK INTO THE INDUSTRY. Everyone you KNEW in 2001 has converted to someone else's products so JOG ON! I can't make a fee off you you!)
- Bachelor's Degree
- Documented track record of success, i.e., President's Club, Top 10% ranking in sales force CONSISTENTLY (not when you were selling copiers in 1999, but like, throughout your career which means you are a legit sales rep)
So, there may be a great candidate that applies, but is, oh, 10 years too old for the manager I am working for. I ignore. They keep applying and applying...then they start calling. See, our contact information is NEVER on job postings because our industry is TRULY a "Don't call us, we'll call you" space. Being in such a small shop, I don't have the luxury of taking every single call of a pharmaceutical rep that sees my posting and despite have NONE of the required experience, is "PERFECT FOR THE JOB!" "Get me in front of the hiring manager and I'll make sure you get your fee!" No fuckhead, if I send your resume, which is the exact OPPOSITE of what my client wants, they'll tell ME to jog on, and I'll be out a client because they would think I am incompetent. Which I most certainly would look like. So, I, unlike these people who stalk me, will follow the instructions of the person I am trying to impress (see: CLIENT).
Ahem, NO PHONE CALLS MEANS NO FUCKING PHONE CALLS. How can I expect to represent you if you don't follow one fucking simple request?
Got waaaay off topic there, but seriously. "I'm a candidate, I'm your product, I'm the reason you make money. You should take my call" "No, you're not. For every 100 candidates I speak to a day, I may place, on average, .50 of you, maybe .75 of you."
Here is my point. I can't blatantly say, "Dude, you're too old for this, I'll get in trouble for sending you" and that being that, I have to dance and dodge and say "Wellllll...I know you have everything they are looking for...but you weren't selected for an interview...because...urm...someone had more experience?" Only to place a kid 10 years that candidate's junior, and the candidate knows I am full of shit once they run into them in the field.
Side note: I am full of shit most of the time. I try not to be, but I'm a recruiter. Clients tell me one thing, I go out and pitch the job, find candidate, only to learn 1. job is on hold, 2. whoops! had a completely unqualified internal referral, 3. hmmm now I think I want people with "x" experience as opposed to "y" - please start over, 4. silence from client, 5. the position is paying 50k less.
Let's be fair: I am not intentionally full of shit.
But my point is this:
Our Constitution says, "No person … shall be eligible to the office of president who has not attained to the age of 35."
How the fuck am I supposed to not practice ageism when ageism is a REQUIREMENT to attain the presidency? The most important fucking job in the country (possibly the world, depending on who you speak to) demands that only a certain age is allowed. I wonder what happens at 35 to qualify you. I know that as a woman, that is supposed to be our sexual peak. Perhaps I'd fuck my way to world peace?
Well, only a certain age is allowed to sell my clients' products. And my clients' products are a MUCH smaller deal than being the leader of the free world.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Red High Heels and a Turkey Sandwich
Two highlights of my day. But please don't think I live an unfulfilled life. Nay, I have searched for a suitable pair of dark red stilettos since the summer of 2006. Now this quest may appear to be trivial to you, however I saw them on a girl I cared more than less about, but I had to concede that they looked completely fabulous with EVERyTHING.
Fast forward to December 2008. Shopping with some friends at lunch, and come across Bandolino where they were having a tremendous sales. There they were. In the back. For $31.00. Not kidding. $110.00 shoes for $31.00. A gorgeous deep red color (not garnet, not fire-engine, kind of like a brick?) with a very subtle red crocodile skin liner around the back with a small brass buckle. Hard to explain, but whatever. I instantly loved these shoes, and wore them quite sparingly in an effort not to wear them down, as I insist on wearing heels from home to work and back again. None of this running shoe with slacks and a jacket look. Christ that's infuriating.
Fast forward again to, like, February. Noticed the right heel started to wobble a little. Not a major catastrophe, but noticeable and I had to be cautious when I walked. A friend said her heel had been doing that for two years, and she was just fine, so what the hell.
Beginning of March, I come home and am in the kitchen. My husband wasn't home quite yet, but Seamus was because, well, he's a dog. I had barely taken my coat off when my love comes through the garage door. I go to give him a greeting and Seamus was so overwhelmed, he got underneathe my legs (110lb yellow lab vs. 135lbs blonde = pile o' flesh). I stumbled backwards and felt the right heel bend in finality. I couldn't take another step. Frustrated and saddened, I figured I would take it to the shoe repair business around the block from my office (exceptional I might add...terrifying to walk into and cash only, but they do great work). A day turned into a week, a week turned into two, and I hadn't found the time or had the available cash (not that I don't have money, it's the whole "cash in hand deal" - very much so a debit card chick). Finally, on Monday I say "this is the day!!! I am getting my heel fixed!!" Unfortunately, on Monday, I was recovering from a rather rambunctious weekend which involved the Philadelphia Beer Festival and friends that are entirely too easy to drink with. Decided upon lunch as well, and had forgotten my debit card altogether (I told you I was a mess on Monday) so I couldn't even pop into Rite Aid for a 20. Tuesday rolls around, am running late for my staff meeting and yet AGAIN I forget my debit card. Wednesday, it is rainy and disgusting and quite frankly, I couldn't be bothered. This morning I woke up and knew I would be wearing my slim leg khaki slacks with a light green cardigan. The best complement to that outfit is MY EFFING RED HEELS which had now been sitting in my office for four days. I throw on another pair of slingbacks and head into the city. Go up to my office, throw my bag down, grab my shoes and off I went. I needed to get back to the office because it has been unbelievably busy, but I needed these shoes to be fixed (I have had to force myself to not say "better" as it is not normal to humanize shoes). I stop at the ATM (Bank of America - NOT MY BANK - but hey, I'll pay $1.50 for convenience ONLY it turned out to be $3.00 fucking dollars for a surcharge. Ridiculous and I will continue to talk shit about the Bank of America from this day forward). I go to the shoe repair place, and the little Asian man that works there looks at is and goes..."Oooh...$18.00?" FINE. I look at another employee and plead "I love these shoes, please fix them." The Asian guy looks at me and says "Late today?" NO. NOT LATE TODAY. I beg him for 12:30 p.m. and he agrees.
At 12:45 p.m., I can finally get away from work - I run out - get my shoes - they take them out of the brown paper bag they were in (told you this wasn't exactly high class for Center City, but hey...) and they are PERFECT.
I skip to a local deli, get a turkey sandwich, and more happy today than I was yesterday after getting a 25k place.
Also, we went to a fabulous sushi restaurant last night (little BYO by our house - four rolls, six pieces of shashimi, soup, gyoza = $50.00) - DONE!
Fast forward to December 2008. Shopping with some friends at lunch, and come across Bandolino where they were having a tremendous sales. There they were. In the back. For $31.00. Not kidding. $110.00 shoes for $31.00. A gorgeous deep red color (not garnet, not fire-engine, kind of like a brick?) with a very subtle red crocodile skin liner around the back with a small brass buckle. Hard to explain, but whatever. I instantly loved these shoes, and wore them quite sparingly in an effort not to wear them down, as I insist on wearing heels from home to work and back again. None of this running shoe with slacks and a jacket look. Christ that's infuriating.
Fast forward again to, like, February. Noticed the right heel started to wobble a little. Not a major catastrophe, but noticeable and I had to be cautious when I walked. A friend said her heel had been doing that for two years, and she was just fine, so what the hell.
Beginning of March, I come home and am in the kitchen. My husband wasn't home quite yet, but Seamus was because, well, he's a dog. I had barely taken my coat off when my love comes through the garage door. I go to give him a greeting and Seamus was so overwhelmed, he got underneathe my legs (110lb yellow lab vs. 135lbs blonde = pile o' flesh). I stumbled backwards and felt the right heel bend in finality. I couldn't take another step. Frustrated and saddened, I figured I would take it to the shoe repair business around the block from my office (exceptional I might add...terrifying to walk into and cash only, but they do great work). A day turned into a week, a week turned into two, and I hadn't found the time or had the available cash (not that I don't have money, it's the whole "cash in hand deal" - very much so a debit card chick). Finally, on Monday I say "this is the day!!! I am getting my heel fixed!!" Unfortunately, on Monday, I was recovering from a rather rambunctious weekend which involved the Philadelphia Beer Festival and friends that are entirely too easy to drink with. Decided upon lunch as well, and had forgotten my debit card altogether (I told you I was a mess on Monday) so I couldn't even pop into Rite Aid for a 20. Tuesday rolls around, am running late for my staff meeting and yet AGAIN I forget my debit card. Wednesday, it is rainy and disgusting and quite frankly, I couldn't be bothered. This morning I woke up and knew I would be wearing my slim leg khaki slacks with a light green cardigan. The best complement to that outfit is MY EFFING RED HEELS which had now been sitting in my office for four days. I throw on another pair of slingbacks and head into the city. Go up to my office, throw my bag down, grab my shoes and off I went. I needed to get back to the office because it has been unbelievably busy, but I needed these shoes to be fixed (I have had to force myself to not say "better" as it is not normal to humanize shoes). I stop at the ATM (Bank of America - NOT MY BANK - but hey, I'll pay $1.50 for convenience ONLY it turned out to be $3.00 fucking dollars for a surcharge. Ridiculous and I will continue to talk shit about the Bank of America from this day forward). I go to the shoe repair place, and the little Asian man that works there looks at is and goes..."Oooh...$18.00?" FINE. I look at another employee and plead "I love these shoes, please fix them." The Asian guy looks at me and says "Late today?" NO. NOT LATE TODAY. I beg him for 12:30 p.m. and he agrees.
At 12:45 p.m., I can finally get away from work - I run out - get my shoes - they take them out of the brown paper bag they were in (told you this wasn't exactly high class for Center City, but hey...) and they are PERFECT.
I skip to a local deli, get a turkey sandwich, and more happy today than I was yesterday after getting a 25k place.
Also, we went to a fabulous sushi restaurant last night (little BYO by our house - four rolls, six pieces of shashimi, soup, gyoza = $50.00) - DONE!
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Monday, March 9, 2009
MORE Handicapped Spots
MORE handicapped spots in the parking lot. What the FUCK is wrong with them???
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Empire is still the best...
They seriously rolled in, installed our carpet, on the day they said they would. Took them 2.5 hours and it looks amazing. Hooray!
Monday, March 2, 2009
Empire is so much better than Home Depot
So, we ordered a new carpet for the nasty den on the 7th - I recall writing about it. Guess what? Still not here. The man called the installer on Friday and was like "wtf? we were told the carpet would be in Jersey by Tuesday, it is now Friday, and no carpet." The c-rag was rude to him and said we have to call Home Depot. Call Home Depot, and they say the carpet supplier has no carpet. So...Home Depot? You outsource your carpet sales to a carpet supplier that has no carpet? And no one thought to call us? "Well, normally we ask if there was an alternative color you would like, but since they have no carpet, there was no point." My husband was pretty pissed by now - he asked when did they expect it to be here. Next Wednesday...it will have been five weeks since our inital trip to HD, and we STILL had to wait for the installer to fit us into their schedule. Fuck THAT. We demanded our money back, which we got.
The same morning, he called Empire. At this point, we needed carpet immediately because we had begun to completely neglect/abuse the den carpet because we thought we were getting a new one! They set us up for an estimate the NEXT morning, between 9:00 a.m. and 11:00 a.m. Our sales guy rolls in at 10:00 a.m., was as nice as can be (he was completely cool with Seamus molesting him), measured, then told us the total, for Empire to remove our carpet (we were responsible for that with HD), the carpet pad (6.5 lb carpet pad as opposed to 4 lb carpet pad), the same quality carpet, furniture removal, and Monday installation, was $730.00. And we only needed to depost $25.00.
Our total, for the shitty service and NO carpet was $1,098.00 with Home Depot. And did I mention they made us pay 90% before they even installed? So we were horribly inconvenienced, but they were just fine because they had $900.00 of my dollars. Fucking hell.
Unfortunately the carpet is not being installed today because of a blizzard that has rolled in, but I imagine they will do it tomorrow or Wednesday. The moral of my story is DON'T BOTHER with Home Depot or Lowe's - they lure you in with the $139.00 installation! deal, but it is ridiculously expensive, and because they outsource the carpet, the person who actually provides the service treats you like shit because they are protected by the wall of Home Depot.
So far, I am 2000% more impressed with Empire - I will let you know if the carpet looks good/bad/so-so and if it gets installed within the next 48 hours.
The same morning, he called Empire. At this point, we needed carpet immediately because we had begun to completely neglect/abuse the den carpet because we thought we were getting a new one! They set us up for an estimate the NEXT morning, between 9:00 a.m. and 11:00 a.m. Our sales guy rolls in at 10:00 a.m., was as nice as can be (he was completely cool with Seamus molesting him), measured, then told us the total, for Empire to remove our carpet (we were responsible for that with HD), the carpet pad (6.5 lb carpet pad as opposed to 4 lb carpet pad), the same quality carpet, furniture removal, and Monday installation, was $730.00. And we only needed to depost $25.00.
Our total, for the shitty service and NO carpet was $1,098.00 with Home Depot. And did I mention they made us pay 90% before they even installed? So we were horribly inconvenienced, but they were just fine because they had $900.00 of my dollars. Fucking hell.
Unfortunately the carpet is not being installed today because of a blizzard that has rolled in, but I imagine they will do it tomorrow or Wednesday. The moral of my story is DON'T BOTHER with Home Depot or Lowe's - they lure you in with the $139.00 installation! deal, but it is ridiculously expensive, and because they outsource the carpet, the person who actually provides the service treats you like shit because they are protected by the wall of Home Depot.
So far, I am 2000% more impressed with Empire - I will let you know if the carpet looks good/bad/so-so and if it gets installed within the next 48 hours.
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